Relationship GoalsSample

Single Focus

From Madison, single and thriving

In April of 2018, I decided to be intentionally single for the remainder of the year. As someone who wants to get married one day, this idea seemed scary. What if I met the perfect guy but couldn’t pursue a relationship because of this commitment? I struggled with these thoughts, but after spending time in prayer, I knew this was the right thing for me to do. 

Over the next several months, God taught me a number of things which I think are true for everyone, regardless of relationship status.

1: I needed to eliminate distractions. 

The writer of Hebrews told us to keep focused on Christ, and I realized pretty quickly that my desire to find someone was distracting me from following Jesus. Staying single allowed me to refocus my life on what mattered. Your distractions may be different, and most likely your solution will be, too. But what can you do, both inside and outside of your relationships, to make it easier to focus on Jesus?

2: I needed to go to God for satisfaction.

God has put in each of us the need for community and some kind of companionship. But sometimes we’d rather forgo God’s timing and rush ahead to find the things we want now. Unfortunately, when we do this, we often end up unsatisfied. No matter what you’re searching for, God wants you to trust Him to satisfy all your needs. Plus, I think my married friends would tell you it doesn’t work to try and satisfy your deepest needs in your spouse. 

3: I needed to ask God to give me His desires.

Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Before this season, I had an idea of what I was looking for in a spouse, but my picture wasn’t clear. So, I prayed that God would fill my heart with His desires. Over time, God changed my perspective of what I was waiting for. If you haven’t done so already, regularly talk to God, seek Him through reading the Bible, and ask Him what He wants for your life.

Whatever stage of life you’re in, whatever your relationship status is, it’s a gift. God can use this place to help you become more like Christ. 

Consider: Are there any deep desires you’re trying to satisfy in a person rather than in your relationship with God?