Happy Marriage, Happy HomeSample

Nobel Peace Prize nominee Carl Rogers was a leading psychologist of the twentieth century. He is known for his therapeutic technique called unconditional positive regard. Basically, he believed that individuals come into a counseling office with all kinds of emotional and spiritual hurts. The one thing each and every person needs is for someone to give total empathy – or unconditional positive regard. 

I believe this is a wonderful tool for marriage. Your spouse is the one person who should offer you unconditional openness and positive and authentic empathy. Empathy is a word that is often confused with sympathy. However, the term is very different from having pity on someone. Empathy is the ability to come alongside another in a certain situation as if it were your own. Webster’s Dictionary defines empathy as “vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.” 

Jo Beth demonstrates this in our marriage and in our family. She comes alongside me and takes on my issues as her own. When I have been hurt, she hurts. When I have a success, she is ecstatic. When I need to vent, she is the ear that I seek, hands down! Over the years, we have grown into each other’s best counselor. Second only to the Lord, it is her gentle answer and gentle listening I seek most. 

By the way, Carl Rogers was not nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in psychology. Instead, his nomination was for his efforts to bring peace to the peoples of South Africa and Northern Ireland. His theory, much like our scripture today, was one of peace. 

Ask God, through His Holy Spirit to give you unconditional positive regard for your spouse.