Relationships 101නියැදිය

How to Fight Right - Think before you speak

Those of us in the USA have a tendency to cling to the freedom of speech even to our own detriment. It's our First Amendment right to express ideas and opinions without government interference or retaliation. While this may make saying anything I want legally protected, it doesn’t make it a good idea. It also doesn’t mean it will be without consequences. Even if our words are allowed legally, they can have huge consequences physically, spiritually, relationally, and eternally. Jesus tells us that we will give an account for every careless word we speak. (Matthew 12:36). Our words can either build up or tear down our relationships. Many times, emotions get the best of us, and we begin to spew words without a filter. We often realize afterward that the hurtful things that were said shouldn’t have been said. But Proverbs warns that reckless words are like sword thrusts. The wound from a sword cuts just as deep whether it was on purpose or a careless action. We need to follow James’ instructions in James 1:19 and be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.

Speak life Proverbs 18:21 & 12:18. We have the opportunity to build up our relationships, and we have the opportunity to build up those people we interact with. This is all the more important, the closer our relationships are. Our words can build life and strength into our kids, spouse, and family, or they can destroy them, tearing them down and ripping at every flaw. We win when those next to us are built up. We win when they grow in their walk with their Lord and their identity in Him.

Most of us have heard the saying that hurt people hurt people. This statement is true, and many times, we are hurt by the people around us because we keep hurting them. When our disagreement becomes a mud-flinging contest (a flaw finding, problem pointing, identity attack) everyone gets hit, everyone gets dirty, and nobody wins.

If this is an area that has been a struggle for you, if your words have been a source of pain or death in your relationships, take the time to repent and change. Change won't happen by accident. Choose to speak life. If there are people who your words often cut, choose today what words of life you can speak over them. Decide to speak words that agree with God over them. Apologize for the hurtful words you have spoken over them, and share some life-giving words over them.