Catching Fire: The Power of Our WordsSample

It’s easy to look up to people who have the quickest response, the most clever comeback, and can put others in their “place” with a smart jab. Their ability to respond so quickly makes us think they’re smart, witty, and justified. But the truth is, these kinds of responses are generally reactive behaviors and, as clever as they might sound, don’t necessarily reflect the best parts of us. That’s what makes James’ command so important. When he tells us to be quick to listen, he invites us to experience some space between what we’ve heard and what we say. He’s suggesting we take a beat, a pause, a chance to physiologically tune into the more thoughtful parts of our brain and overpower the stressed-out reactive part.

Whether James knew it when he wrote it or not, there is incredible power in switching mental gears and letting the space between listening and speaking slow down our emotional reactivity so we can respond more thoughtfully. That little window of a break between speaking and listening could be where we end up saving a conversation that could otherwise go off the rails, and that’s something we’ll never regret doing. What are some conversations you wish you could have over because you were more quick to speak and slow to listen? What are some areas where you can improve on this?