4 Prayers to Heal a Marriage Damaged by PornSample

Prayer for Renewed Intimacy

Renewing intimacy after pornography addiction in a Christian marriage is a delicate and gradual process that requires intentional effort, patience, and reliance on God's grace.

It’s clear from passages like 1 Peter 3:7 and Ephesians 5:21-33 that we are supposed to honor and respect our spouse. We need to live in a way that is “considerate” and “treat with respect” in our marriages (1 Peter 3:7). What will it look like to honor your spouse in this healing journey when it comes to intimacy? Honor is being patient and holding your spouse as worthy of respect, gentleness, being heard, and loved. Keep these things in mind as you check in with your spouse and slowly reintroduce intimacy.

Here are steps to help guide this journey:

Recovering Spouse:

• Check-ins:

Schedule regular times to talk about your marriage. Make sure that both of you feel heard.

• Rebuild Trust Gradually

Trust is rebuilt through consistent behavior over time. The recovering spouse must commit to recovery and be transparent in their actions.

• Set Boundaries: Establish and respect boundaries to create an environment that is porn free. This might include using accountability software and knowing your triggers so you can avoid them.
• Non-Sexual Touching: Start by rebuilding emotional and physical intimacy through non-sexual touching. Stay at the comfort level of your spouse.
• Sexual Intimacy: When both of you feel ready, gradually reintroduce sexual intimacy. Focus on creating a safe and loving environment. Be patient with each other. Take time as you are building a foundation for your sexual intimacy in your marriage for the rest of your lives.

Betrayed Spouse:

• Take it slow:

Don't rush into physical intimacy before emotional intimacy is rebuilt. Focus on rebuilding trust and emotional connection first.

• Engage in non-sexual touching:

Hold hands, hug, and/or cuddle to rebuild physical closeness without pressure for sex.

• Plan regular date nights:

Spend quality time together to reconnect emotionally and have fun as a couple.

• Be present:

When being intimate, focus on being present in the moment rather than getting caught up in anxious thoughts.

• Redefine intimacy:

Try non-sexual forms of intimacy like deep conversations, shared activities, or acts of service for each other.

• Triggers:

Identify potential triggers related to the betrayal. Work together to create a plan for handling them.

• Rebuild trust through transparency: The recovering spouse should be open about their recovery process and any struggles they face.

By following these steps and relying on God's guidance, you can build intimacy and strengthen your marriage.

Prayer Together:

"Lord, pornography has distorted our view of intimacy and sexuality. We ask you to redeem and restore this area of our marriage. Help us to see sex as the beautiful gift you intended it to be. Heal any trauma or unhealthy patterns. Teach us to love and cherish one another. Rekindle the passion and connection in our relationship. May our intimacy reflect your design and bring glory to you. In Jesus' name, Amen."