Fully Functional Family: The Family Guide to GROW Through Dysfunction.Sample

Day 3: Love and sacrifice

We ended yesterday's devotion by discussing the word “sacrifice.” A “sacrifice” in the Old Testament was a ritual performed in which something (usually an animal) was offered to God as an atonement for our sins. Think of it as a foreshadowing of what was to come because, in the New Testament, Jesus came and offered His own life to God in a brutal and ritualistic fashion. He did this so that we can live free from the oppression of sin and adopt a new method to be reconciled to God–faith and repentance.

I think it’s fitting that as time progressed, the word “sacrifice” took on a new definition, “an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.” That's exactly what God did! John 3:16 NLT says, “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”

Jesus also described this kind of sacrifice when He said in ‭‭John‬ ‭15:13‬ ‭NLT‬‬, “There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” Both of these powerful versesave a common theme:

Love requires sacrifice.

“Love” is a broad yet sublime virtue. We instinctively know how important love is in relationships and constantly search for tangible proof that love exists. Oxford languages defines love as “an intense feeling of deep affection.” But what does that really mean? In my humble opinion, that definition does not truly encapsulate the powerful meaning of love.

Since love often invokes a strong physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual response, I believe we need a more thorough definition. 1 Corinthians 13:4‭-‬7 NLT provides an excellent definition of love.:

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

The foundation of “love,” as described above, highlights one’s willingness to sacrifice his or her life (i.e., their time, service, ego, and emotional responses) for another. A continual, selfless sacrifice for another is the most important thing we can do to build a fully functional family. It is the foundational virtue from which all other categories stem. Let's break down a few ways we can demonstrate love and sacrifice using 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 as a reference.

1. Love is patient and kind. Patience requires practice. It requires us to accept relationship challenges without getting angry. The key is to remain friendly and realize that none of us in our fully functional families are trying to intentionally harm or offend the other. In other words, be nice to each other!
2. Love is not jealous, boastful, proud, or rude. Always look for opportunities to celebrate each other's successes! Jealousy usually begins with a person feeling underappreciated or unnoticed. Boastfulness, pride, and rudeness begin with a selfish attitude. This can be avoided if we look out for each other by asking, “What can I do for you today?”
3. Love is not being irritable. With all the stressors at work, school, and home, I understand how easy it is to become irritable (or easily annoyed). With that said, we have to take time to decompress. Regardless of how my day went, I spend a few minutes after pulling into my driveway to recalibrate my mind and prepare to give my family the time, love, affection, and attention they deserve. At the same time, my family respects those few minutes of quiet time because they know they’ll get a better version of me. Create and respect each other's decompression space.
4. Love is forgiveness. Forgiveness is always tricky because we usually focus on the symptom instead of the problem. To forgive is to “stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.” I wish it were easy to flip the emotional switch, but it's not. That's why we have to address the root of our anger or resentment. I like to use a slightly modified version of the “5 Why” technique. When it's time for me to extend forgiveness, I ask myself, “Why does this matter to me?” until I identify the root of my anger and resentment. Only then can I discuss it and extend forgiveness.
5. Love is justice. This is where having a unified faith and shared value system is handy. In this context, justice is about gently correcting each other when we stray from our shared values.
6. Love is persisting and hopeful. I love how today's passage of Scripture finishes, “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” There's no tricky “small print” or unwritten rule that changes true love in a fully functional family. We should love each other no matter what. No challenge is too big for you to overcome. Remain hopeful that you will continue to grow closer to God and as a family. Don't give up on each other!

Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank You for giving us the perfect example of love and sacrifice. We ask for Your forgiveness for times we didn't show this same kind of unconditional love towards one another. We pray that You help us show daily acts of kindness and forgiveness towards one another and generously give our time and effort to improve each other. Thank You for my wonderful family! Amen.

Continue the discussion

1. Read Romans 8:31-39 (my favorite translation of this passage is the MSG Bible). What stands out about God's kind of love? How can you apply this in your home?
2. What daily acts of kindness can you do for each other?