Relationships: Passing the Vibe CheckSample

Day 8: Be Friends, but Be Aware

1 Corinthians 15:33 New International Version (NIV)

33 Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

Whether you are the “bad company” or the “good character” part of this equation, the sides don’t match. Evil forces in this world are willing to use any means necessary to pull us away from God and our calling to teach others about Him, so you shouldn’t be surprised that choosing to stay around people who are openly against or lukewarm to the teachings of Christ will pull you down. As I continually say, be friends but be aware. You can be Christ-like and loving toward the “bad company,” but do not let their choices influence you.

How have you been impacted by another person who demands attention? You have options: run in the opposite direction to not get sucked into the misery or be friends but be aware. You can only control your behavior and attitude. If a friend behaves in a high-maintenance way, you can still be friends and enjoy time together.

However, as you are aware of his tendencies, you shouldn't get mad at him if you place yourself in a situation with him. By being friends, you can share a conversation or do homework together, but when he starts pressuring you to follow along while he behaves in ways you don't like, you must act in your best interest. Politely remove yourself from the situation. You can share your concerns and initiate an open conversation explaining why you are uncomfortable. You might open his eyes to God’s way of thinking, but you might also make him angry when you call him out on his poor behavior. Either way, reserve your emotion and remove yourself from him.

If you know a girl is needy, demanding, and bossy, don't pursue a relationship with her. Be nice, give a compliment, and smile. Don't ask her out on a date. In the beginning, you will like her confidence and the look of a well-dressed beauty. But what's underneath the skin? If she isn't nice to other girls, if she isn't friendly to your friends, or if she demands your time with no concern for your siblings, then what's the benefit? Seriously, go the other direction. Be nice, give a compliment, and smile. Then run the other way. You will save yourself a pile of heartache in the end.

No future relationship will end well when the prospective partner is demanding and controlling, no matter how cute he or she might be. Plus, if you allow yourself to become entangled with a high-maintenance significant other, you will find that type of person very hard to leave. Getting away from a bad relationship is difficult enough, but when you partner yourself with someone you know to be controlling, the endings are even more painful. Instead, surround yourself with believers where the Holy Spirit inside of you can keep each other on track.

·How will God be the center of your life if you are constantly bowing down to the rules and demands set by a high-maintenance friend?

·How will you be like Jesus if you are a hot-tempered and demanding friend?

·When do you feel that Jesus isn’t the center of your life?

·When this happens, are you the leader away from Him, or are you the follower of someone worldly and unconcerned with Christian values?

·How can you reconcile the Great Commission of taking the message of Christ to the world with protecting yourself from becoming a part of this high-maintenance world?