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How do we confess?

"Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16, NIV)

There are two things we learn about confession from James 5:16. One, God says do it. Two, He wants us to confess our sins (plural). Confession isn’t a one-and-done situation. It should become as much of a habit as the sins themselves.

So we know God wants us to confess our sins to each other, but how? What does this practically look like? It’s easy to get caught up in the logistics of this verse. As humans, we love clear instructions. We crave guidance. But sometimes, we get stuck on the details. We wrestle with wanting to sound perfect and articulate precisely what we are going through. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. When we are asked to speak at a wedding or give the commencement speech, what do we do?

We prepare. The less prepared we are, the more nervous we feel about speaking in front of a crowd of people.

It is perfectly normal to want to feel prepared, but we want to caution you not to focus too much on the details that you get stuck in the preparatory phase. Confession is intimate and vulnerable. You will likely feel very nervous confessing because for so long, isolation has been your safe space. Unlike public speaking, the nerves you feel leading up to a confession have nothing to do with preparation. The very first time Amanda confessed to Katie, she wrote out a detailed text message of exactly what she wanted to say.

The next time she confessed, she spontaneously blurted it out over coffee with her bible study leader. The nerves were outrageous in both situations. So, what are we saying? James 5:16 tells us to confess our sins, but does not give us clear instructions on how to do so. So essentially, we just need to do it. As unhelpful as this may sound, we hope it is encouraging to you. You do not need to beautifully articulate what you are going through. You might blurt it out over coffee. You might barely get the words out behind blubbering tears on a friend’s couch. You might write a letter or text message to your mentor. And all of these are perfectly acceptable confessions.

• Do you feel underprepared to confess to someone? What would make you feel more prepared?
• Do you have an idea in your mind of what you think confession should look like? Is it realistic?
• Would you feel more comfortable confessing in person? On the phone? In a text message? In a note?