How to Set Boundaries in Christian DatingSample

What Is A Boundary?

A boundary is defined as a “dividing line.” In geography, a boundary is what marks the end of one property or jurisdiction and the beginning of another. In an interpersonal connection, a border that separates one individual from another enables both to have distinct identities, obligations, and advantages. A boundary creates the necessary space between people. Healthy boundaries set expectations and show respect for others.

From a biblical point of view, limits are related to self-control. The Bible commands us to control ourselves, even though our human nature desires to control others (Titus 2:12). Personal boundaries help limit our selfish inclination to control or manipulate others. Likewise, boundaries protect us from those who have no self-control and who want to control us. A person with clear and strong boundaries communicates to others what is and is not permissible, saying, in effect, “This is my zone, and you have no right to interfere.”

Limits can be used in a healthy way and in a sinful way. If we want to know which limits are pious, we must examine the motive. Are you protecting yourself or someone weaker from possible harm, be it emotional or physical? If so, then you are setting healthy and necessary boundaries. However, if you keep your distance simply because you want to exclude someone, that is sinful. Boundaries that create cliques or prohibit ministry opportunities are not helpful.

Proper boundaries help believers keep out worldly influences. The children of light have no fellowship with darkness and are therefore separated from the world (2 Corinthians 6:14). Being kind and friendly is like Christ, but we are not to adopt the world’s way of doing things (James 4:4). Our desire is not to push people away, but when people are destructive, the boundaries we set can restrict the evil they can do against us.

Boundaries have to do with taking responsibility for our own life. God gives us the freedom to choose to live within His limits or outside of them, and living outside of God’s limits means accepting the consequences. Living within God’s boundaries brings blessing, and living outside of them brings destruction and death (Romans 6:23). Adam and Eve had a limit in the Garden of Eden: abstain from the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. The Lord gave them freedom to stay within His bounds, but they chose to overstep the bounds and sin. Adam’s response to God’s revelation of his sin was to blame someone else rather than take responsibility for his lack of self-control. Eve blamed Satan and Adam blamed Eve (Genesis 3:12-13). Boundaries limit destructive behaviors; may we be able to set up a godly boundary in Jesus’ name.