Grace in the GraySample

CURIOSITY AND KINDNESS

What do you do when someone doesn’t just have a different opin­ion about some tenet of faith but has turned their back on their faith altogether? One of my favorite verses is 2 Timothy 2:24-25: “The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth.”

If you’re going to talk about God, if you’re going to correct opponents, if you’re ever going to achieve unity while giving merciful space to the doubts people have, Paul tells Timo­thy, you must not be doing so from a quarrelsome place. “The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome.”

Ouch. Rewind the tape. When I talk about God, am I starting from a quarrelsome place? How much of my desire to correct someone who is questioning their faith is really fueled by my own secret desire to be seen as someone who knows the right answers?

Paul reinforces this in Romans 2:4, “God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance.” If God changes people through kindness, why do I think I could do so differently?

God’s kindness changes the way we do everything. When His kindness runs our lives, we can begin to be kind with everyone, including ourselves. When we can admit we’re wrong but aren’t defeated by it, we are set free from shame. We are freed to hold the tension. We can stretch. We can utter the four magic words “I could be wrong.” We can speak when we need to and keep silent when we need to. We can pray more honestly and listen more attentively.

When our own bitterness becomes the enemy, people are no longer the enemy. We fight differently. We become more patient online and in person. We make friends with our feelings, and we lead with curiosity and kindness. We hold space for doubt. We take away the labels, and we begin to hear like never before. We move from enduring disagreement to loving people in the midst of disagreement. This is what it means to find grace in the gray.

God, may I not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting my opponents with gentleness. Help me to show Your kindness in every area of my life. Amen.

We hope this plan encouraged you. Learn more about Grace in the Gray by Mike Donehey here.