[Wisdom of Solomon] the Wedding Day and NightSample

We Must Die To Ourselves

There is one thing that can truly ruin a marriage. If it isn’t dealt with, you can find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place. It doesn’t appear at first, but when it shows up, if it isn’t dealt with, it causes havoc. This one thing is selfishness.

We just read that Solomon had protected his bride and invited her to a safe place. She responded by inviting Solomon to have all of her. We see that there is selflessness when she gives herself away. She says, “Come. My garden is your garden. My body is your body.” Here’s what this means: selflessness produces true satisfaction.

Solomon comes verbally, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. He is gentle. Then she says, “Yes. Let’s also come physically.” She is free to do so because she is in the safest place of selflessness. Her hair is down, her guard is down, her beauty is secure, and Solomon embraces her. This is her guy, and he will take care of her. The Bible tells us that the man’s body belongs to the wife, and the wife’s body belongs to her husband (1 Corinthians 7:4). They don’t have to have control. They can die to their selfishness because this place of intimacy has been created and nourished between them.

There’s trust built up to let each other in because there’s no selfishness in sexual relationships that God has His blessing on. There shouldn’t be. Pornography is selfish. Sex outside of marriage is selfish; it’s all about what one can get from the other person without first having to give oneself away. A true marriage, a selfless marriage, is built on trust, confidence, and in knowing you can trust the other person.

Our relationship with God works the same way. When we are saved, we are no longer our own. Our bodies were for our glory and were dead in their sins, but now God made us alive in Christ, and we are no longer slaves to sin but slaves to righteousness (Romans 6:18). This is because we trust that what God has for our lives is the best thing for us. We only know this because God has shown Himself trustworthy and faithful even when we’re not.

Do you trust your spouse? Is there any selfish way in you that must die and be redeemed by the cross? Surrender to the Lord your selfish ways and trust that He is good.

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