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Dealing With Shame And Regret

Denying Jesus was Peter’s greatest failure and his greatest regret. Just over a week after his denial, Peter set out to go fishing with some of the disciples. He was going back to his old occupation, likely in some ways thinking he had failed and lost his opportunity to help spread Jesus’ message. He had turned his back on Jesus in Jesus’ greatest time of need, and probably now assumed he had blown his chance.

In the same way, we also are tempted to revert back to our old/normal ways when we fail. It’s easy for us to think we can’t change, so we might as well go back to what we know.

But in our doubts and disappointments we must remember; you don’t have to do the things you used to do because in Christ you are not the person you used to be. Jesus meets us where we are, but invites us not to stay there. We think, “I can’t change,” or “I’m not the person I aspire to be,” or “I’ll never get past that thing that still haunts me today.” But in Christ that doesn’t have to be true.

Even Peter wasn’t the same man as three years earlier, when Jesus first called him to follow. As we read in John 21, Jesus isn’t going to let Peter’s shame and regret stop him. In this passage, John realizes it is Jesus while they are fishing because three years earlier this exact same thing happened to them when Jesus first called them to follow him. They were out on a boat and some guy on the land who they didn’t know called out to them, asking if they caught anything yet. Three years earlier he had also said you guys should try the other side, and three years earlier they cast their net on the other side and then couldn’t haul it in because it was so full of fish.

Upon realizing it is Jesus, Peter goes to him as quickly as he can. This is interesting, because our tendency is so often to think we must hide from God when we sin. Yet Peter, undoubtedly from the years he spent with Jesus, knows just how full of love and grace Jesus is.

Then Jesus took Peter back to a charcoal fire, the scene of his greatest regret. It was at a charcoal fire, after all, that Peter denied Jesus three times and cursed him. And now at this charcoal fire Jesus recomissions Peter to get back into the game. Peter’s greatest failure will now be part of his story when he shares the grace of God with others. And if Peter can be redeemed from his regret, we can too.

No matter where your shame and regret in life come from, this story in John 21 teaches us to cast ourselves on the mercy of God. Peter denied and cursed his Savior only a few hours after pledging he would die for him if he had to.

All of us have shame and regret in our past, but we don’t have to live in it. We can be forgiven, and as in Peter’s case, God can actually use it to spread his love and mercy through us to others.

Today’s reflection

What is one of the biggest regrets you have in your life? What would it look like for you to be honest about it with God today, and ask him to remind you of his grace for you?