The Boundaries Of JesusSample

Boundaries Empower Others

By now, I hope you know: setting boundaries is the most loving thing you could do for yourself and others.

If this doesn’t feel true, it’s because we have a misconception of what showing love is for another person. We often think love is about making a person feel happy all the time and giving all of ourselves to them.

But this is not loving if their comfort denies them of their potential.

True love is not doing for someone what they should be doing for themselves; true love is empowering them to do all their potential asks of them.

In our emotional health and wellness company, Enjoyco, we teach the example of mowing a lawn. We think love is mowing our lawn and our neighbor’s lawn. It’s great to mow our neighbor’s lawn in an act of kindness. But what happens when we keep mowing their lawn? They never know they could do it themselves. They deny themselves their potential. We disempower them.

Boundaries empower others. Our lack of boundaries only disempowers them.

We see this work of boundaries on display in the life of Jesus.

In John 5, Jesus encounters an invalid who had been there for thirty-eight years. Jesus asks him, “Do you want to get well?”

Instead of saying yes, the invalid gives an odd answer. He blames others for not helping him in the pool, because he believed that would heal him. In other words, he forfeited his power. In his mind, he was powerless.

Now, Jesus could’ve touched him and healed him instantly. Jesus could’ve helped him into the pool. But Jesus instead chooses to heal not just his physical body, but his view of his potential as well.

“Get up! Pick up your mat and walk,” Jesus tells him.

Jesus’ method of healing required an exercise in the invalid’s own power. In other words, Jesus didn’t do the work for the invalid. He empowered the invalid to do it on his own.

We believe that loving another person means doing everything for them, but this is less love and more a control issue. With boundaries, we can love ourselves and our values while also exercising true, empowering love for another person.

This is not mean. This is the most loving action we can do for another person–to empower them to see their own potential and live in light of God’s calling for their life.

So if you struggle to set boundaries because you believe they're mean or not loving, remember the example of Jesus. With strong, clear boundaries, everyone wins.

Was this Plan helpful? If so, learn more about emotional health at https://enjoycowellness.com/yv-boundaries.