The Road to J. O. Y.Sample

You Are Formed from the Beginning

The plan had been for me to graduate from Butler University in Indianapolis and then go to law school. And when I say “the plan,” this was my dad’s plan. Well, after the Christmas break before I graduated, I realized I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to coach. I don’t know what it was like for my dad to hear that, but I know that he told me to do what he always tells me to do when a tough decision is at hand—pray. I prayed and I wrote letters. Lots of letters. I wrote letters to any coach I could think of who might have a spot on their staff where I could work after I graduated. Once again, God answered my prayers in a way that I didn’t anticipate or really even like at first. The thing about coaching is that it’s really hard to get your foot in the door. And when you haven’t played college basketball, it’s even harder. I sent out all those letters trying to get on staff. Coaching staffs were a lot smaller then, and there were restrictions about graduate assistant spots, so I didn’t get many responses. The ones I did get weren’t positive. I call them “ding letters,” which basically means, “Hey, thanks for your interest, but we don’t have a spot.”

I really appreciated all the coaches who took the time to tell me they didn’t have an opening. Today, I always try to respond to people if I can, even if it’s disappointing news. So I was striking out at every turn but still felt like I was called to coach. As it turns out, I got some help from two familiar faces.

That spring, my dad had his old boss Dale Brown visit to speak to his team at Valparaiso. By this point, Coach Brown had been to several Final Fours and had successfully recruited a bunch of top high school players to LSU, including Shaquille O’Neal, who was the previous year’s top pick in the NBA draft.

When Coach Brown was speaking, I was in the room, and he pointed at me and told my dad, “You gotta hire the young kid.” Around the same time, my dad’s staff had an opening for a graduate-level position. For $600 a month and the ability to earn my master’s degree, I took a job on my dad’s staff.

Now, at $600 a month, I wasn’t exactly living large. I was living at home with my parents and barely making any money. But you know what? I loved it.

First, thanks to my mom, I did have a solid meal plan. And, since I didn’t have any money to do things, I just worked all the time. I basically lived at the office. At my first meeting with my dad’s staff, I told them, “Give me everything you don’t want to do.”

I think God was allowing me to be humbled by starting at the bottom, living at home, and doing the most menial tasks were one of the best blessings I could receive. Since I was the low man on the totem pole, I had total freedom to try to recruit the best players I could find since there wasn’t any pressure on me to land anyone. That time helped me develop this idea of starting at the top and working down in terms of the players. I was recruiting, instead of the other way around. As a coach, if you only get who you could or should, it’s going to keep you where you are, not where you are trying to be. And I was trying to help my dad take his team to the top.

That’s the other thing working for my dad taught me. When you’re coaching for your dad, you feel like a head coach. Because when your dad gets criticized in the media when you lose a game, you take it like a head coach, if not more personally. When it happens to you, it’s one thing. But when it happens to a parent or a sibling, it makes you more upset. When I was coaching with my dad, I took the losses and criticism harder than my father did. And I tried to help in any way I could—coach harder in practice, recruit harder on the phone—to try to protect my dad. When you’re an assistant coach working for someone else, you care. But it’s not your record and it’s not your name. I’m glad God gave me the opportunity to work hard for my dad’s name.

Above all, the biggest thing I learned from my dad is that, no matter what was happening in his life, no matter what was happening with his team, his faith in and relationship with God never wavered. He knew, and taught us, that God was good no matter who won or lost a game. And I can see now, with the benefit of my own age and maturity, how his faith helped guide him throughout his career.

And it’s in my father’s story that I’m reminded, once again, about how great God is and to always trust His plan and His timing. Even when it might seem like it’s causing you to let go of something important, what God has for you is always better than anything you can do on your own.

Respond

Describe your relationship with God.

How do you include Him in your daily life?

Prayer

Father God, thank You for being there no matter what happens in my life. Help me learn to walk closer with You daily.