Finding Purpose in All of Life's Sorrows and JoysSample

When the Teacher realized that everything he’d pursued turned out to be meaningless, he found he hated life. And not just life, but everything he’d devoted his life to—all the accomplishments, all the stuff.

It’s understandable. Unmet expectations can breed resentment. Unfulfilled hope often sprouts into beanstalks of bitterness. When God’s plans and our plans diverge, we have a crisis of faith. We get angry with God, with others, even with ourselves. And maybe, just maybe, we start to wonder if life is worth living. Perhaps we find that we hate life too. Do you feel that way? I’ve felt that way. And that’s how the Teacher felt. He lost hope. Until he received a deeper revelation:

This is what I have observed to be good: that it is appropriate for a person to eat, to drink, and to find satisfaction in their toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given them—for this is their lot. Moreover, when God gives someone wealth and possessions and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot, and be happy in their toil—this is a gift of God. They seldom reflect on the days of their life because God keeps them occupied with gladness of heart. - Ecclesiastes 5:18–20

Accept the Bitter With the Sweet

It’s God’s gift to live in the present. It doesn’t fix everything. There’s still toil. And trouble. And disappointment. But instead of expecting more from life than it could give, you receive this day from the hand of God and enjoy it in the moment. This moment. Bitterness and sweetness together. All of it is a gift.

Here’s what I mean. Take a cup of coffee—the kind I’d offer you while we lounge in the shade of my Atlanta porch, our ears tickled by my mostly ’90s R&B playlist. Now take your time. Inhale the aroma. Feel the warmth. Swirl it in the cup. Pay attention to how it sticks to the sides and slips off. Take a sip. Slowly. Now catch this: expect the bitterness; wait for the sweetness. Notice the subtlety of its flavor. It’s all there, and it’s a gift to enjoy.

Coffee is complex. Only people who aren’t acquainted with it describe it as bitter. And it is bitter; there’s no denying that. But that’s not all it is. There’s so much more to enjoy if you embrace the coffee’s bitterness and look for something else.

Hear me out! All I’m saying is that there’s a lot to miss out on if (1) you’re so determined not to taste the coffee’s bitterness that you mask it with cream, sugar, milk, or anything sweet at your disposal; or (2) you only drink it as a means to an end—using the caffeine to help you accomplish some other task you feel is more important than the enjoyment awaiting you in that cup.

A lot of folks treat life like a cup of coffee. They don’t want to taste the bitterness. They even want to pretend it isn’t there. So, they reach for accomplishments, relationships, and work—anything to make life sweeter, or at least less bitter. And before they know it, life becomes the equivalent of a “coffee-flavored” beverage. It’s not life like it’s not coffee. It’s just “life-flavored.” They want it sweet or not at all.

But why shouldn’t you choose to mask the bitterness? What are you missing? The fullness of life. Complexity. The uniqueness of flavor. Story. History. Homeland. I’m not just trying to sell you on coffee—I want to sell you on a different way to see life.

So, what about those who only see coffee as a means to an end? They don’t care about the flavor; they care about the caffeine. That’s like living in the future. It’s always the next thing. And the sweeter it goes down, the better—so you don’t have to pay too much attention to it. It doesn’t distract you. It just gets you where you want to go. But that’s not life either. That’s out of touch with the present. That’s missing out on the gift.

Coffee, like life, is about receiving the bitterness and the sweetness together. It demands patience. My friend Joe once told me that coffee has helped him slow down. To brew it properly means not watching your clock on the way to somewhere else; it means paying attention and enjoying the experience in that very moment. This moment.

Your lot in life, to use the Teacher’s words, is to enjoy the cup of coffee in your hands. Expecting the bitterness to come, but not staying there. Coffee is bitter, but it’s much more than that. Bitterness and sweetness aren’t like oil and water. As the Teacher says, it is God who makes things meaningful. He is the One who gives wealth and possessions and the ability to enjoy and accept them. While spending our time chasing what could be, we miss out on enjoying what is. We never even consider that the joy we often forfeit in the present (in hopes of seeking more) is more than enough to satisfy us. But, living in the moment, paying attention to what is in front of you, and accepting that life is bitter and sweet is a blessing.

Reflect

How do you typically respond to bitter circumstances in your life? Do you try to ignore it or see it as a means to an end? Take a moment to sit in that bitterness. What sweetness can you find past the bitterness?