KykNET Lent Guide 2023Sample

Week 3: Grieve

Day 2: Why mourn?

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matt 5:4 NIV

A while ago, I spoke to someone who said that she was in a fight for survival and didn’t have time to sit and cry. She has to go on with life. Her therapist recommended that she come to a stop, give herself time to mourn, and warned her that her soul and body would turn on her and her decision if she didn’t.

Things happen to us that invite us to come to a standstill, to reflect, take it in and feel it. If we keep on running and arrange our lives so that we keep avoiding it by looking forward and staying busy with positive things, our souls will suffer. In post-traumatic stress responses, our painful experiences play on an endless loop of unprocessed feelings, images, and physical sensations inside of us.

The other problem is that if we cannot feel the sad feelings, we will eventually not be able to feel the happier feelings. The part in our brains responsible for sad feelings is the same part responsible for happy ones. When we shut it off, we become “flatliners”. The pain is not processed unless we are willing to feel it. Time does not heal all wounds. Even though it takes time to heal, it is not the passage of time that does the work. We need to allow mourning and crying to do their work. Some of us are unaware that we are walking around with unprocessed pain in our lives. Our lives become grey and we think it has something to do with what we are doing, with whom we are doing it, or where we are doing it. We want to live somewhere else, share our lives with different people, and do different things because we believe it will add to our lives. The birth of a new life goes hand in hand with pain, as with the birth of a baby.

Exercise:

You are invited to revisit the great losses in your life. What am I still carrying with me that I’ve not yet dealt with? What requires my attention? What should I give effort to?

Repetition Prayer:

Lord, I ask for the grace of tears, to mourn my losses.