Mind Craft: Take Your Thoughts Captive to Transform Your Marriage Sample

Why We Think What We Think

Where did your views of marriage come from? As we grow up, we are exposed to a number of marriage models. Our first model is our family of origin. Think about your family of origin. How did your parents treat each other? Did they have a good relationship with each other? Did you see them value each other and serve each other?

Outside of our family of origin, we are bombarded with all kinds of marriage models. Very few movies or TV shows portray healthy marriages. Why? Because it does not sell. It’s the crazy mixed up marriages that people pay to see. The unhealthy is often made to seem very appealing.

The Proverbs often refer to wisdom as something “better than jewels,” and as something to “find,” as you might find a treasure. Wisdom is worth seeking out. But we often look for marriage wisdom in all the wrong places. It may be a destructive family of origin or friends who don’t put a positive spin on marriage. It can be the broken marriages that make the news. When we look in the wrong places we get wrong information.

As we take in that information it makes new pathways in our brains. The positive thoughts we once had of marriage turn negative. Then those negative thoughts come out in our words and our actions. The impact this has on our marriage will never give us the marriage we dream of.

This is exactly why the instruction in Romans 12:2 to “renew our mind” is so powerful. Renewed thinking transforms our perspective. Renewed thinking will also overflow into our words and actions. Instead of looking in the wrong places, look at God’s way. Renew your mind with scripture each day. Ask God for wisdom and insight, and as James 1:5 explains, He will answer.

Next Steps:

• Write out the first ten words that come into your mind when you think about your marriage today. Now circle all the positive words and put a box around the negative ones. What do you see? Where did those words first come from as they entered your mind?
• Now that they are in your mind, what paths are they creating in your brain?
• Your goal from this exercise is to eliminate the boxes and grow the circles and add new positive circles. It is reframing your marriage one word at a time.
• What is one way you can practice renewing your mind each day?