Ten Steps to Your Best Life by Brent Crowe Sample

DAY 5 - Community: Pursuing Relationships as Doctor and Patient

When we discuss the relationships we develop within the Christian community, it is important to see ourselves in two distinct lights: doctors and patients. Let’s break that down. 

As a group of people following Jesus and walking beside one another, we must recognize the need to care for others’ souls (the role of doctor) while also allowing our souls to be cared for (the role of a patient).  In other words, if we understand community, we are both doctors and patients. 

Relationships and community are essential for a life worth living because God created us as relational beings. This point is abundantly clear when reading the Creation narrative (see Genesis 1-3). The first problem wasn’t sin, but rather aloneness: “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone…” (2:18). Therefore, an essential part of being human is understanding our need for healthy relationships and community. 

As with every community, a certain culture exists that is determined by the members of that community. The question then becomes, What are the healthy characteristics of a community, or more specifically, the relationships that make up the community? Before seeing the answer, remember that we must be willing to fulfill the role of both doctor and patient administering and receiving the following qualities for healthy relationships to exist.  

Love

…Jonathan was bound to David in close friendship and loved him as much as he loved himself…Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as much as himself.     1 Samuel 18:1, 3

Oneness 

Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts. For if either falls, his companion can lift him up; but pity the one who falls without another to lift him up. Also, if two lie down together, they can keep warm; but how can one person alone keep warm? And if someone overpowers one person, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily broken. 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Loyalty

One with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother.

Proverbs 18:24

Counsel

Oil and incense bring joy to the heart, and the sweetness of a friend is better than self-counsel.

Proverbs 27:9

Kindness

A despairing man should receive loyalty from his friends, even if he abandons the fear of the Almighty.

Job 6:14

Honesty

The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.

Proverbs 27:6

Sacrifice

No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends.

John 15:13

Communication

The LORD would speak with Moses face to face, just as a man speaks with his friend, then Moses would return to the camp. His assistant, the young man Joshua son of Nun, would not leave the inside of the tent. ...

Exodus 33:11

Self-control

Don’t make friends with an angry person, and don’t be a companion of a hot-tempered one, or you will learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.

Proverbs 22:24-25

Character

Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another.

Proverbs 27:17

What now?  

• Reflect on the relationships in your life, primarily the inner circle of people who make up your community. Evaluate if you embody the ten characteristics of healthy relationships.  
• After personal evaluation, how can you help those you are close to become healthier by embracing the characteristics of healthy relationships?