More Beauty Less MessSample

When my daughter was a teenager, we tended to butt heads. The longer we were together, the more our irritations grew. One particularly difficult weekend left us both in tears and uncertain regarding how to move forward. We longed for a close relationship marked by understanding and peace but weren’t sure how to get there.

Heartbroken and defeated, and certain at least half of our struggle lay with me, I went for a long drive to think and pray. On my way home, one word surfaced: grace, and I realized I’d been withholding the very thing I longed for her to offer me. I’d been engaging with her on a surface level, focusing on behaviors rather than her wounded and fearful heart beneath.

“Help me understand her, God,” I prayed. “To see her as You do.”

Christ was faithful and opened my eyes to layers of hurt and insecurity that He alone could heal. Armed with the wisdom only God can provide, I returned home with much more understanding, empowered and inspired to forbear.

Over the years, my daughter has done the same for me. She's offered grace when I've acted ugly or said things I didn't mean. And while her courageous commitment to a healthy relationship motivates her to speak truth, she remembers that I'm not perfect and never will be. I need Jesus. She does as well.

This realization helps create safe environments for authentic communication where our relationships can grow and thrive. We don't have to hide our true selves from one another and we're less apt to respond with defensiveness. Instead, we're more able to respond to each other with the beautiful blend of truth and grace that our Savior offers us.

God wants to help all of us excel in this and to, ultimately, love our moms and daughters as He has loved us.

~Jennifer Slattery