Hurt by Christians: 8 Days to Bring Healing and HopeSample

Turn the other cheek

Now that we have established that churches are filled with sinners, saved and unsaved sinners, we should not be shocked when interpersonal conflict arises. Gossip, slander, and betrayal will still hurt, but if we prepare ourselves in advance for this to happen, our response will be more filled with love and grace than the typical human response of anger and revenge. 

Jesus flipped the standards of Mosaic Law on its head during the Sermon on the Mount, no longer holding them to an “eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” from Exodus 21:24. Jesus then ups the ante, “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go a mile, go with them two miles.” It’s easy to read these verses and think, “surely Jesus didn’t mean for me to do that!” 

Jesus sets a standard for not seeking repayment or revenge. We are not only limited to these examples He used. In any other situation where we are taken advantage of, we should love our enemy and pray for those who persecute us. However, if someone walks up to me at church and slaps me in the face, you know that I would need some Holy Spirit intervention to not act in my flesh! We will not be perfect, yet Jesus says, “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48). Once again, Jesus is setting the standards so high that we will spend the rest of our lives running the race and learning to be holy. 

Our response to evil or malice against us gives us the opportunity to let Christ be the Lord of our life and our actions. We are able to show others Jesus by our love because God IS Love. Romans 12:20 describes providing for your enemy as “heaping burning coals on his head.” I feel this is saying that our kindness will either light a fire under our enemies to convince them to change or the fire will consume them with their own guilt and tormented conscience.

Some people are insecure and seek attention, while some have unresolved conflict with others, so they take their frustrations out on those close to them. Still, some people just have basic personality clashes. Though it is not malicious in nature, not every person will get along together. 

Our response is always a choice. Does that mean we have to sign up to be used or abused? Not necessarily.  You have options in the friends you make and the church you attend (more on that tomorrow).  So what is God saying? Use discernment and seek God’s desire for you in any situation. Maybe you need to address the situation instead of fleeing. Maybe God wants you to show love to that person in a way they have never experience before and in doing so they see God alive in you! 

Tomorrow we will look at what you should consider in choosing a church.

What conflict have you faced in the past with another person and how did you handle it? 

Do you feel it was the right or wrong way based on the verses we discussed?