When Disappointment StrikesSample

Processing Our Disappointment

To process something means we analyze it. Analyzing our disappointments not only leads to healing but could lessen future disappointments. If we don’t process, we’ll continue to be disappointed. So, ask God to help you process as you consider a few things.

Unrealistic Expectations
Do we always expect to get everything we want? Do we think every single plan we propose will happen? Do we have dreams that feel more like fantasy than reality? Saying yes to any of those questions means we have unrealistic expectations. Our expectations must be realistic for us to lessen our disappointment. In order for our desires to be realistic with others, we have to be willing to communicate them. We can’t expect someone to just “know” what we want.

Extreme Reactions
Maybe our expectations weren’t unrealistic, but perhaps our response was. Do we fly into an angry rage because something canceled our plans? Do we burst into tears and crawl into bed for days on end when we can’t go somewhere? Do we engage in silence making others walk on eggshells because someone didn’t agree with us? Regardless of how big or little our expectations were, our response may be extreme for the circumstance. We have to be willing to look within to determine how extreme they were. 

Mental Stamina
Disappointment usually causes emotional stress in our lives. Here’s some good news: disappointment builds a mental muscle that wouldn’t be possible if we got everything we wanted. So, instead of always seeing disappointment as a stumbling block on our path, let’s see it as something to climb over. And when we climb anything, it takes effort and that will make us mentally stronger. 

Lastly, there is something many ask when we’ve experienced continued disappointment: When do we stop pursuing _____________________ and walk away? You’ve applied to medical school, sought after a job, attempted to salvage a friendship, or tried to learn a new skill more than once and you’re just not sure you can or should do it again. Before you decide to walk away, go back to whether or not your expectations were unrealistic, your reaction was extreme, or your mental strength needs improvement. Maybe an adjustment should be made first. 

Beyond those practical steps, where do you sense God’s peace in this? Do you feel He’s leading you to keep going? Sometimes our far-fetched, superhuman dreams do come true. But, there also may be a time to walk away, and doing that could open up a brand new dream that God wants to reveal to us.

So, spend time with God, read His Word, worship Him, petition Him in prayer, and seek wise counsel from godly people in your life who are trustworthy. Disappointment will come and go, but our hope and joy can remain.