Grow Up And Lead YourselfSample

Alone? Include Yourself.

By Stephanie Shouse

Some of my loneliest times were experienced while in leadership, surrounded by people. Leaders often feel lonely because we feel we don’t have someone to talk to, or conversations revolve around only what we can do for someone. We often get left out of social plans because people assume we’re too busy to need an invitation. In these times of isolation, here’s how to include yourself.

First, let go of the idea of the perfect friend. We have this picture of the perfect friends. We imagine going on vacations together, laughing and talking ‘til midnight, raising our kids together, and even sharing our burdens and dreams. But those types of friendships are rare. A recent study states that a person who claims three or more close friendships in their lifetime is an exception! Open your eyes to the possibilities of friends outside of your expectations: that older lady who is a good listener; the young mom who asks your advice; that person who always laughs at your jokes, or the woman on your row at church who sees past the Sunday-morning-smile. Those moments are all gifts from God that can be nurtured into true friendships.

Next, make the effort yourself. Instead of sitting in your seat at church waiting for someone to come talk to you, take the first step by getting up and starting a conversation. Instead of sitting around wishing you had been invited to the party, host your own party and invite a variety of potential friends to it. Instead of wasting time longing for a friend, be a friend. Many people are lonely and longing for connection. You could be the answer to someone else’s prayer by being a friend to them. In return, God may give you the friendship you’ve been longing for.

Third, remember who your true Friend is. Friendships here on earth come and go. They are temporary because of season, location or even conflict. But there is a Friend who sticks closer than a brother who promises to never leave us or forsake us. When Christ is our True Friend, we need no one else. He is always there, always listening, and understands us completely. All other earthly friendships pale in comparison to the friendship we find in Christ.

Stop focusing on what you don’t have and really see what God has given you. Pity parties aren’t pretty. Push back the fear and lead yourself!