Relational Reset: 7 Days To Unlearning The Habits That Hold You BackSample

Overcome Offenses

Much like forgiveness is a choice, not being easily offended is also a choice. Ecclesiastes 7:21–22 says: “Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you—for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.” 

Don’t look to be offended or else you’ll find it. If you are constantly listening in on what others are saying, then you are likely to hear them say things about you that you don’t like—or you may just think they’re talking about you. In other words, if you are looking to be offended, you’ll take offense. If you think your friend has intentionally left you out when she thanked all her “besties” on Facebook, guess what? You are going to be offended! As you scroll through your Facebook or Twitter feed, you just know your friend is talking about your posts when she says she is “sick and tired of seeing x, y, z on Facebook,” and you get offended. 

Or maybe you’re walking past your coworker’s closed door, and you hear her talking to someone else in hushed whispers. You decide she must be talking about you. You start to feel really annoyed with her and find yourself giving her the cold shoulder when you run into her at church or the community pool. In these scenarios, you have no good reason to be offended because you don’t know what your Facebook friends are talking about or what your coworker was saying. If you aren’t looking for hidden meanings in people’s words and actions, you’ll be far less likely to find things that hurt you. 

Show grace to those who offend you, knowing you have also been shown grace in the past. The reality is that we have all said things about others that we shouldn’t have said. We have all put other people down. It’s important to remember this lest we become self- righteous—too big for our britches, as we say in the South. For example, it’s likely you’ve posted something on Facebook that has offended someone. I can practically guarantee it. Instead of being offended by someone’s words or actions, choose to extend grace.