Healing Family Relationships Through PatienceSample

I want to share a family healing story that took place over twenty years. Jacob and Esau had an epic brother-vs.-brother conflict. They were twin boys, with Esau being born first. Jacob came out of the womb hanging on to Esau's heel! The conflict between the brothers was fueled by their parents, Isaac and Rebecca. Isaac favored Esau, and Rebecca favored Jacob (Genesis 25:28). The family conflicts intensified when Esau, at the age of forty, chose to marry two Hittite women who "were a source of grief" to Isaac and Rebecca (Genesis 26:34).

When it came time for Isaac to bless Esau and transfer the leadership of the family to him, Rebecca helped Jacob deceive his father so that he might receive the blessing rather than his brother. Esau was enraged and "held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing his father had given him. He said to himself, 'The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob'" (Genesis 27:41). Rebecca helped Jacob escape the wrath of his brother by sending him to live in Haran with his extended family.

Twenty years went by. Both Jacob's and Esau's families grew. Jacob sent a messenger to his brother Esau to see if perhaps his anger had waned. "The messengers returned to Jacob, saying, 'We came to your brother Esau, and he is coming to meet you, and there are four hundred men with him'" (Genesis 32:6). Jacob was afraid and rightly so. Was this a welcome party or a war party?

When Jacob's caravan was still far away, he sent three teams of his servants, one after the other, to present gifts to Esau. Finally, the time had come for Jacob and Esau to meet face-to-face. In Genesis 33, we see Esau running out to greet Jacob, both brothers weeping as they embraced on another.

They not only received each other's gifts and help, but their relationship was restored. It was a fresh start. It was a miracle, twenty years in the making.

Reflection Question: What family relationship in your life might need twenty years or more of patient prayer and faithfulness? Are you willing to trust God with His timeline of healing?