Relationship Shifts in WidowhoodSample

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11 (NIV)

The Bible tells us that there is a time for everything, including a time for joy and happiness. At the beginning of our grief, it seems impossible to imagine we will feel anything but sorrow ever again. Eventually, though, we discover the beautiful truth that joy does indeed come in the morning. It will not be dark forever.

At the same time, we may find that even the thought of moving forward comes with a sense of shame or a feeling of betrayal towards our spouse. We may feel guilty for experiencing joy, friendship, or companionship again.

As widows, we often find ourselves in a confusing season, not sure if we have mourned long enough or, on the other hand, if we have carried our grief for too long. We may find that friends and family have strong opinions on this as well. But in Ecclesiastes 3:1-11, we are reminded that there is a time and a season for everything. This passage tells us that there is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to keep and a time to release. For those of us who have walked through the loss of our spouse, there is a season for mourning, and there is a season for releasing our grief and moving forward. Through God’s guidance, we can navigate those seasons.

It’s also important to remember that our time on this earth is limited. Ecclesiastes 3:2 tells us that there is a time to be born and a time to die. While losing a spouse can be a painful reminder of our mortality, it can also be an opportunity to reflect on the life we have lived and the legacy we want to leave behind. We can cherish the moments that we had with our loved ones and still make the most of our days here on earth. It is one of the best ways to honor them — to live a full and happy life. It’s hard to imagine they would want anything less for us.

QUESTIONS:

Is there any specific area right now where you feel guilty about moving forward? Why do you think that is?

CHALLENGE:

Spend some time reflecting on how you could be living a full life or moving into the next season with an open heart that honors your spouse. Write these things down and pray over them. Then, when you feel ready, take the first step and do them!