Psalm 51: Forgiven & FreeSample

I am incredibly uncomfortable with asking for help. Not because of pride necessarily (although that definitely comes up) and not because I don’t think that others can help me, but actually, I fear being indebted to other people.

I don’t exactly know when this started. It’s not like as a 6-year-old, my mom made me dinner and suddenly I thought “someday I must make her dinner in return”. It sounds funny even thinking about it, doesn’t it?

Nevertheless, somewhere along the way, I developed a discomfort with “debt”.

For example, my roommates love my dog. They love hanging out with her on the porch, and they love movie nights where she curls up beside them. Yet, when my car broke down coming home from work and I had to ask them to let her out, I immediately said, “I’ll Venmo you”.

If you aren’t familiar with Venmo, it’s an online payment system that works really well for quick payments like this situation. And even though they said it was “literally no problem” and they were “home anyway”, I sent over a quick payment for coffee on me.

Did I look like a kind, generous roommate who appreciated their help? Sure. Am I that kind, generous roommate? I like to think so. But in this particular moment, I Venmoed them because I was in “debt” to them and I didn’t want to be. Because debt feels incredibly uncomfortable, especially in a society that constantly tells us to pay off our debt as quickly as possible, from credit cards to college loans.

As much as I hate to admit it, sometimes I wish God worked the same way. It would feel a lot more comfortable knowing that I could pay Him back for all that He’s done for me. Yet, I cannot. He has done so much.

And like my roommates, but even better, He delights in doing things for me that I could never pay Him back for and could never thank Him enough. And if this is true for me, it is in fact true for you also! He is a God that delights in us, and in fact, Zephaniah 3:17 tells us this in reference to Israel (His people), that He “will rejoice over you with singing”. He is not uncomfortable with our debt to Him - in fact, He has known since the beginning of time that we could never pay Him back, and yet - He chose to love us anyway. He chose us.

David talks about a similar sentiment towards the end of Psalm 51 in response to God’s forgiveness of Him. In verse 16, David writes, “You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings…” and man, that struck me.

But before I jump into that, I want to address the confusion that this passage may bring. At this time in history, God’s people (like David) would have been required to bring sacrifices to the Lord in order to make themselves “right” with Him. They were required for forgiveness and the cleansing of sin. If you know that, you may feel like this scripture is a bit contradictory, and it does appear that way.

Yet - the next verse brings about a little bit more context, “My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise,” (v. 17). David had made sacrifices thousands of times for the House of the Lord, but I love what David Guzik’s commentary says on the matter, “Yet he understood that one could sacrifice an animal or many animals to God without a broken and contrite heart.”

David knew that God cared more about a broken heart towards sin than the sacrifice to forgive it. The heart of God always cares more about our posture than our sacrifice. David knew this and wanted to show the Lord just how grieved he was by his own actions and own sin.

Sin breaks God’s heart and should break ours, too. Yet, you and I don’t stay there. We don’t stay in shame - guilty before God. Instead, when we receive the forgiveness of the Lord that He so freely offers, we can walk forward in complete freedom.

In verse 15, David expresses this as he confesses a willingness to sing the praises of God. I pray that if nothing else, you remember this - you and I have the opportunity to praise God out of a place of our freedom and forgiveness, not our debt. And this is the most beautiful part of our relationship with Christ.

As you go out today, take a moment to reflect on all that you have learned and all the Lord may be doing in your heart around forgiveness.

1. Are you trying to pay the Lord back for a debt He already erased? He doesn’t want your “money” - all He wants is your heart and your praise.
2. Are you living in chains even though the Lord has freed you? Let them go. He has forgiven you already, so how much more can you forgive yourself?

This is a slow process. You may have to read this devotional 300 more times or spend every day asking the Lord for help on this specific topic - but we pray this:

Lord, give the one who reads this peace and freedom that You love them. You have forgiven them. And You desire a relationship with them.

Go in peace. You are freed!