The comprehensiveness of the mother’s role

People often tell you to keep taking care of yourself once you become a parent. It sounds good, but anyone who has experienced motherhood knows that it’s easier said than done.

How you divide roles and responsibilities among the household is up to every family. However, no matter how equally tasks are assigned, mothers differ from fathers, and it shows.

When I look at the parenting roles my husband and I have, we do things our way—which is good. But where he can get things out of his system quickly, I can sometimes ruminate over little things for hours, like sleep schedules for our children or what kind of themed birthday cake we should get.

I’m a planner. For example, I want to schedule what my children will eat for an entire week. My husband finds it important, too, but he has a more laissez-faire attitude and can approach things flexibly.

This is just a small example of the mental load that comes with motherhood, and it scratches the surface of all the extra things and responsibilities you have to think about and do on top of all the physical caring. Of course, there are exemptions, and there are tools to help go about this, but overall, the mental load is real—whether it's predominantly more on the mother or the father.

Motherhood is the most beautiful role you can ever get and execute, but it is also a comprehensive role. We need to take care of all the physical and mental load, but we can only do that if we have the energy.

That’s why people keep telling you to take care of yourself.

How do you do that?

Especially when you add the complexities of being a business owner, freelancer, or working on side projects.

You learn to plan, multitask, let go, nurture, inspire, and grow.

That’s overwhelming… but you grow into it.

How fortunate we don’t have to do it alone.

Our guide is the Holy Spirit. He will give us wisdom when we need it (James 1:5) and patience when we are about to break down (Galatians 5:22-23).

Our guidebook is the Bible. It's full of advice on how to raise our children in a loving, responsible, God-fearing way. And when we know, we grow in confidence, which affects how we feel mentally.

I could write an entire book on managing time and juggling the mental and physical load of parenthood (and maybe I will someday), but for now, let's remember what we read yesterday: surrender.

If God sees children as a heritage He entrusts us with, He will surely help us raise them. He is gracious; let’s be gracious, too. He is patient; let’s take it step-by-step.

So, surrender to God and abandon the idea that you have to do it all by yourself. If you need time for yourself, ASK someone to help you make it happen. Don't underestimate the power of a group of like-minded people; iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17). Having other mothers or fathers around you is a blessing. One-on-one advice or care from someone other than your partner is necessary. It will all help you understand the parent role fully, 'do it all,' and take care of yourself.

Reflection

Try to define the mother's role/motherhood and see if it covers all of its responsibilities.

Action

To foster me-time: Create a list of things that give you a mental or physical boost. Think of small or big activities, Bible verses, people you'd like to spend time with, etc., and schedule one item in your calendar.