Blaming the Victim

Ah, if only Eliphaz had remained silent! Or just listened! Then he might have given genuine comfort. But Eliphaz came from Teman, a city known as a place of wisdom (Jer 49:7), and the desire to show off his “wisdom” was too strong. He has sacrificed his initial compassion in order to hold on to his understanding that suffering is the direct result of sin.

And now he reinforces his argument by implying that Job is a fool - the foolish man being the opposite of a wise man. He insists that if Job will simply admit that his suffering is God’s punishment for his sin, rather than denying it, God will certainly give him back all the material blessings he lost because of his sin.

Eliphaz does make some true statements.

• It’s true that suffering is common to humanity.
• It’s true that suffering can be the result of our own actions.
• It’s true that suffering can be God’s opportunity for correction.

What’s not true is the application to Job’s situation.

How easy it is for us to make statements which may be true in general, but when applied to a specific circumstance, become false. That’s when our wisdom becomes folly, and we play the familiar game of blaming the victim.

When we do that, we dismiss the person and their pain in favour of spouting our supposedly wise beliefs. In truth, we become the foolish ones.

Can we hear ourselves as we interact with someone in pain: someone who has lost a child, a spouse, their health, their job? Do our words of general truth become false accusations? It’s so easy to become another Eliphaz and make statements that place the responsibility for suffering onto the sufferer.

Respond in Prayer

God of grace, giver of life and restorer of souls, make me aware today of any way my strongly held beliefs could become false accusations - and then give me the grace to shut my mouth!! Amen.

Lynn Smith