Unhooked: Holy in a Hookup WorldSample

Day 16: Conflict

Read

Those who fear the Lord are secure. –Proverbs 14:26

Connect

Conflict is a tool.

When used responsibly, it facilitates discussion.

But sometimes, it feels like a weapon wielded by people whose opinions are different from yours. Because it stings to disagree, especially with someone you love, divulging your differences is often uncomfortable. But it’s impossible to co-exist forever without conflict.

Husbands and wives, parents and children, sisters and brothers, friends and colleagues all clash sometimes. If they don’t, that doesn’t mean they have no problems. It means they haven’t talked about their problems yet.

It’s important to face conflict head-on, and there’s a right way to do it: with love.

“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” –Ephesians 4:2

There’s also a way to work through conflict without fear—by remembering whose hands you’re in while you work through it: God’s.

Psalm 16:8 says “I know the LORD is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.”

You are secure in Him—conflict doesn’t change that, even if it’s uncomfortable.

In fact, the discomfort is worth enduring if we allow conflict to serve its purpose as an opportunity for correction and connection. It provides a chance to practice listening and to learn about another person’s point of view without immediately trying to prove it wrong.

In dating, conflict helps you discern. Is it wise to commit to a person who believes what he or she believes? Do our differences require me to compromise who I am or what I believe?

Conflict also reminds you that even if the answers to these questions lead you to walk away, you’re going to be okay.

God’s got you. He has a plan for your life.

Pray

Thank you, Jesus, for being the source of my security. I’m sorry for the times I’ve been too distracted by my circumstances to remember that I’m always safe in Your hands. From this safe place, You can get me through whatever I need to go through—including conflict.

Reflect

What feelings arise in you when you recall or imagine disagreeing with a significant other? How can you handle conflict differently in the future?