Deactivating TriggersSample

You Are Not a Stepchild

We Are All Equal in the Eyes of the Father

"In the place where they were told, 'You are nobody,' this will be the very place where they will be renamed 'Children of the living God.'" (Romans 9:26, TPT)

Let me begin by clarifying that I am speaking to everyone and anyone. This message is not just for those whose parents are married to someone other than their biological mom or dad. Anyone can feel like a stepchild, an orphan, or as if they simply do not belong. Those are the ones I am addressing. I am speaking to you because we have ALL felt out of place, unwanted, or shunned at some point. Look closely because you will recognize yourself somewhere within this segment.

I believe you could consider me an expert on being a stepchild. I’m kidding, of course, but I am well-versed in the role. My dad was married 5 times, and my mother was married 3 times. Soon after my mom remarried the first time, my dad also married again to a woman who already had six children. Thus began our saga like most children from broken homes—they live in parallel but very different worlds. It’s like living two separate lives with different aliases. You have no idea who you are, but you try to be whomever and whatever you think will cause the least conflict in your world.

Cause and Effect - The Spirit of Rejection

We have all experienced rejection at some point in our lives. Think about it. Is there some situation you were in that brings back memories of being left out or ignored? It may not have been within your family unit. Have you ever had people close to you invite some of your group for an outing, but they did not invite you? Maybe you were the last one chosen in a game when team captains were choosing their team members. Maybe on the job, someone new to your place of employment received resources, a promotion, or special recognition, while you, who had been on the job much longer, never received any of those things. We have all experienced those types of rejection. Don’t misunderstand. Just because we have all experienced those moments doesn’t mean they are not traumatic. They most certainly are and cause lasting feelings of anger and hurt. I have suffered all of those as well, but for me, the ultimate rejection was from those who are supposed to love and support us the most. However, I want you to know, Precious One, you are not a stepchild in any form or fashion. You have a loving family headed by the most loving, caring Father you can imagine. And He would never reject you or treat you in a manner which would cause hurt or pain.

I think most of us understand satan is the father of lies. I just want to remind you, so please keep it in mind when you feel rejected or left out, and those negative emotions rise to the surface. Those feelings never come from God. Jesus makes this very clear while addressing the Pharisees:

“You are the offspring of your father, the devil, and you serve your father very well, passionately carrying out his desires. He’s been a murderer right from the start! He never stood with the One who is the true Prince, for he’s full of nothing but lies—lying is his native tongue. He is a master of deception and the father of lies!" (John 8:44, TPT)

The spirit of rejection triggers negative emotions and, many times, violence. It builds up within you until you lash out at everyone around you in frustration. This has been my experience and observation. It is one of the hardest spiritual battles to overcome. BUT, with God’s help, you can and will overcome it.

We Are Not Stepchildren!

Let’s be clear—God does not consider anyone a stepchild. He loves fairly and equally. He had a really hard time convincing me. I was a real tough nut to crack, but He never gave up on me. A tremendous breakthrough for me came one day as I was reading the book of John. In chapter 17, Jesus had gone to the garden of Gethsemane to pray. I read as He prayed for His disciples, asking the Father to protect them, that they would remain united, and to guard their hearts against evil. But as I read further, I realized He was also praying for me and you. In verse 20, He begins to pray for those in the future who would one day believe because of His disciples’ teachings. The part which completely changed my life was when I read how God loves us, just as He loves Jesus. What???? I just sat there and read this verse over and over. It shocked me to realize God loves us, you and me, with the SAME passionate love He has for His Son. It’s almost beyond our ability to comprehend. Look for yourself:

“And I ask not only for these disciples, but also for all those who will one day believe in me through their message. I pray for them all to be joined together as one even as you and I, Father, are joined together as one. I pray for them to become one with us so that the world will recognize that you sent me. For the very glory you have given to me, I have given them so that they will be joined together as one and experience the same unity that we enjoy. You live fully in me and now I live fully in them so that they will experience perfect unity, and the world will be convinced that you have sent me, for they will see that you love each one of them with the same passionate love that you have for me.” (John 17:20-23, TPT)

He repeats it in verse 26. This absolutely wrecked me. I began to weep and cry out to Him, asking for forgiveness and thanking Him for showing me a Father’s love. It was something I had longed for and yearned for all my life. I had an amazing encounter with our Lord right then and there. Not once since have I felt unloved or unwanted. I had security and a promise of eternal love and fellowship with my Lord. This life no longer held any real value for me except for the fact I still had a destiny to fulfill.

“Even for us, whether we are Jews or non-Jews, we are those he has called to experience his glory. Remember the prophecy God gave in Hosea: “To those who were rejected and not my people, I will say to them: ‘You are mine.’ And to those who were unloved, I will say: ‘You are my darling.’” And: “In the place where they were told, ‘You are nobody,’ this will be the very place where they will be renamed ‘Children of the living God.” (Romans 9:24-26, TPT)

Wow. Wow. Wow. Doesn’t that just break down all kinds of walls we have put up to protect ourselves from the feeling of not belonging or being unwanted? And doesn’t it just deactivate all those triggers the enemy works hard to use to talk us into losing control? It doesn’t matter what has been said to us or what has been done to us. The ones perpetrating evil on us will have to answer for it one day, and it is not our concern, nor is it any of our business how or when it happens. They belong to God just as we do, and He will judge, not us.

You can “change the bend in the road.” We do not have to repeat the same offenses that were or are being inflicted on us. You can stop the generational curses. Think about it for a moment. Do you really want to treat your spouse or children or anyone else the way you were treated? Do you want them to carry the same heavy burden of anger or unhappiness you have carried for so long?

It can…

Stop.

With.

You.

Activation:

Practice speaking positive descriptions over yourself (check the Declaration below). When you feel defeated or emotionally injured, remember how Christ must have felt when he was being flogged, cursed, and crucified. Remember, when we are belittling ourselves, we are defaming a child of God. He created us, and He loves us beyond our wildest imaginations. Our words become actions, so guard the thoughts and the words you speak carefully. It is just as bad to put ourselves down as it is for others to do so. You are amazing!

My prayer for you:

“Father, I thank you for the one reading this message from you. You drew this person in to hear what you have for them. I ask you to open their eyes to see you more clearly and their ears to hear you more clearly. Lord, I ask you to help them see themselves as you see them. Holy Spirit, please speak to this beloved one in visions or dreams and make yourself so very real to them. Give them wisdom and understanding so they may truly become a new creation in you. I praise you Lord and lift your name on high as I make this petition by the authority and power of your name, Jesus Christ our King! Amen."

Declaration:

I am a child of the most high King and in line to inherit everything He has promised to His children. I am the head and not the tail. I am loved and cherished beyond my wildest imagination, just as all His children are loved and cherished. I will no longer live with the lie that I am less than any other child of God and will no longer allow the enemy to trigger my behavior and attitudes. I will live in peace and harmony with all and teach others to do the same. With the Holy Spirit as my guide, I will be victorious in all things.