Your Brightest LifeSample

Treat your brothers in Christ like brothers, because they are.

A friend of mine always wanted an older brother. You know, someone to teach her how to throw a football, intimidate potential dates, and explain the mysteries of a teenage guy’s psyche. As one of five sisters, she felt cheated out of the experience.

I, on the other hand, grew up with three older brothers. You know, someone to throw the football farther than I could run, mock my choice of dates, and thoroughly confuse me with their male teenage psyche.

But, I admit, there were also times when “the boys” (as I called them) proved that God did give me brothers on purpose. One example stands out in my memory.

Ian, the middle of the boys, is four years older than me. When I was in high school, he had already graduated and was making his way in the world. One of my favorite memories, maybe of my life, was the time he drove several hours home specifically to take me on a “date.” He wanted to show me how a girl should expect to be treated, and he did. He opened doors and paid for dinner, took me miniature golfing, and asked thoughtful questions about my life. It might have been one date, but that night influenced my outlook and my choices forever.

I’m grateful for the ways all of my brothers have loved me, broadened my thinking, and toughened me up. A good brother can change our lives for the better. A good sister does the same.

Of course, not all biological families have healthy relationships. Sin has messed with God’s design, and our sin against each other can leave permanent scars. But here’s the good news: if you’ve made Jesus Lord of your life, you’ve joined a big faith family. That means you get lots more mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers to do life with.

If you’re lucky enough to have Jesus-loving guy friends in your circle, enjoy the benefits of the extra brothers. Laugh at their jokes, play pickup basketball, and listen to their views about the world. Breathe a sigh of relief when they don’t overreact to something careless you said. Appreciate the strengths your “brother friends” bring to the table. Learn from them.

As a sister in Christ, you’ve got a lot to offer the guys in your world too. Point out the good you notice, teach them how to treat a girl well, remember their birthdays, help them put words to their emotions. Let them know (kindly) when they do something uncalled for.

With all the benefits of family to enjoy, there’s really no reason to rush into romance. But since we’re talking about guys and girls here, sometimes romance shows up uninvited. If your feelings move beyond friends, here’s a super important truth to remember: You’re still family. Regardless of what other titles come (like boyfriend/ girlfriend), you’re still brother and sister in the family of God.

So how can you treat each other like family even when you’re exploring a dating relationship? Here are some questions (not rules) to get you thinking:

• How would you dress if you were hanging out with your brother?
• What things would you talk about? Avoid talking about?
• Would you expect him to give you all of his time and attention?
• How would you show affection? (Hugs? Kisses? What kind?)

It might sound weird, old-fashioned, and detrimental to your love life. But this sibling-till-you’re-married philosophy will help you establish healthy boundaries as you date, sparing you tons of heartache, deepening your relationships, and screening out potential losers hiding on your “love interest” list. There’s not much to lose by trying the family approach. Any guy worthy of your heart will respect you for having boundaries and try to understand your reasons why—just like a brother would.

• What excites you most about the idea of having a faith family that includes brothers?
• What’s one way you could be a good sister to a “brother friend” this week?
• Over the coming week, take mental notes of anything you learn from a guy in your life.