Help! I'm Not Good at ForgivenessSample

To understand the story Jesus told in Matthew 18, we need to think about money for a moment.

Because we do not use ancient Roman currency, we often miss a significant element of Matthew 18:21-35. When we put the amount owed by the unmerciful servant in modern terms, he owed the equivalent of billions of dollars.

It's a number so huge that most of us can't even comprehend what that would look like. This sum is so large it boggles our minds. How could he have racked up a debt that large?!

Regardless of how the debt was created, the man could’ve pleaded to work off the rest of his life or sell all he owned. Yet, no action on his part would’ve remedied his debt.

The first shocking part of the story is that this inconceivably large debt was forgiven. The second surprising part happens when the forgiven servant immediately finds a man who owes him what, in modern terms, is several thousand dollars and begins to choke him. The man who was forgiven a debt of billions refused to forgive a debt of thousands.

One word to describe what was missing in this man’s heart is empathy. Empathy is the ability to understand and share another person's feelings. If anyone could understand another person's feelings, it was this first servant. He shared the experience of suddenly being summoned to pay a debt.

One of the things I discovered as I meditated on the text is the use of similar words. When the unmerciful servant speaks to the king, the text says he falls on his knees and says, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.” The same man who spoke those words goes out and chokes another man. As he is being choked, the second man says, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you.”

They say the same words and ask for the same mercy. This first man gets it but won't give it to another. The “unmerciful servant” refuses to empathize with another's experience. He cannot forgive because he is unwilling to stand in that man's shoes.

When we experience the forgiveness of God in a way that transforms us, it humbles us. We realize we're standing on the same ground and begin empathizing with their experience.

When people hurt us deeply, one of our temptations is to turn them into monsters to diminish their humanity. We assume the worst motives and wonder how someone could do what they did. The problem is that you cannot forgive a monster.

However, what happens when we realize the incredible debt God has forgiven us?

Have you ever returned to your memories of your worst moments and greatest sins? At times, mine feel like a huge debt. When I reflect on my sins and then put myself in the shoes of another, I remember that they're human, just like me. They're broken like me. They're capable of the same kind of destructive decisions that I am.

I've hurt others, and others have hurt me. I’m not blessing, minimizing, or excusing the destructive actions of others. But remember—we cannot forgive people we make into monsters. When you can empathize with someone and stand in their shoes, you acknowledge their humanity. You can only forgive humans; you can't forgive monsters.

God uses empathy to enable us to forgive. In the parable, the unmerciful servant missed the opportunity to empathize. I’m praying for you to take that opportunity today.

On the following day of this plan, we’ll study the essential connection that Jesus makes, which will help you forgive.