Ignite Your Marriage: 7 Days to Deeper Love & Lasting ConnectionSample

The Power of Communication

Scripture:"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." - Ephesians 4:32

Let's face it—sometimes communicating with your spouse feels like talking to a toddler. You share something important, and instead of the heartfelt response you're expecting, you get a blank stare—or, "Did you take out the trash?" Lisa and I know this feeling all too well. I'm the talker, the external processor. I have to say everything out loud to figure out what I'm thinking. Lisa, on the other hand, is an internal processor. She takes her time, analyzing and reflecting before she speaks. Early in our marriage, this difference led to a lot of "heated fellowship." I'd talk for 10 minutes, convinced we were solving the world's problems together, only to realize Lisa was still stuck on my first sentence. I was mentally sprinting down the road, and she was still lacing up her shoes.

Here's the truth we've learned over the years: communication isn't just about talking. It's about connecting. And connection doesn't happen by accident—it takes effort, patience, and intentionality. One of the biggest traps in marriage is assuming instead of asking. We assume our spouse knows what we're feeling, what we need, or what we're thinking. But guess what? They don't. None of us are mind readers. Genuine connection happens when we step outside of assumptions and step into understanding. Start small. Ask meaningful questions like, "What's been the best part of your day?" or "How can I support you this week?" These simple check-ins aren't just filler—they're bricks in the foundation of emotional intimacy.

But let's be real—communication isn't always smooth—every couple fights. The key is to fight well. Lisa and I have learned two crucial rules: don't get historical or hysterical. Historical means dragging up past mistakes to prove a point. Hysterical means letting emotions spiral out of control. Both create distance instead of connection. Instead, focus on resolving the issue—not on keeping score. Remember: if one of you wins, the relationship loses.

Timing is another game-changer. Some of our worst conversations happened late at night when we were drained. Now, we pause and say, "Let's talk about this when we're rested." A good night's sleep (and coffee) can change everything.

Here's something we often overlook: 93% of communication is nonverbal. A kind tone, an encouraging look, or even putting your phone down during a conversation says more than words ever could. Sometimes, the loudest "I love you" is eye contact, a touch, or simply being present. So here's your challenge: ask your spouse one meaningful question today—something intentional. Then, listen—really listen—not just to their words, but to their heart. When we communicate with patience, kindness, and humility, we're not just talking. We're building trust, connection, and an unshakable marriage. Because at the end of the day, communication isn't just about words—it's about love in action.

Prayer: Lord, teach us to communicate with love and understanding. Help us listen well and speak wisely. Give us hearts that seek to understand each other. Amen.

Reflection:

· How can you improve your listening skills today?

· What specific thing about your spouse can you praise?

· What conversation have you been avoiding that needs to happen?