Here Be DragonsSample

CHEERING EACH OTHER ON

I recently had a conversation with a woman whose daughter is two years younger than Caroline and having a hard time with friend dynamics. I shared that we’d dealt with many of those same things. She exclaimed, “Really? I had no idea! It always seemed like Caroline was having an incredible high school experience!”

That conversation reminded me that we never know the path someone else is having to walk. This was true of my own childhood when no one realized that I was constantly belittled at home, and it was true of Caroline’s high school years. It’s also true of people we interact with online. We’ve all learned to curate our social media posts to show the high points rather than the loneliness and heartache we may be experiencing.

Although we can’t control how other girls are being raised, we can control how we are raising our own daughters. One of the values we need to pass down is the beauty of female friendship and what it adds to our lives. We need to let our girls know that there is room for everyone and show them what it looks like to cheer on the women around us.

And although I don’t have all the answers to mean-girl problems, God does. His Word is full of instructions we can apply. For example, how different would we be if we all did our best to live out Colossians 3:12-14 daily? Let’s teach our girls by example that we need to look out for one another, clothing ourselves with “compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12). There are fault lines below the surface in so many people’s lives we won’t even see unless there’s an earthquake.

Ephesians 2:10 tells us: “We are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Let’s show our kids where their true identity and security are found. Each of us is wonderfully and fearfully made, and God has put us in our families, schools, communities, and world in this time for very particular reasons. Instead of mak­ing ourselves feel better by making someone else feel small and insignificant, we can feel empowered and confident as we discover the purposes for which God has created us.

What is your daughter learning about friendships from watching how you treat others?