The Better FriendSample

WHEN IT’S TIME TO WALK AWAY

Maybe, like me, you’ve felt confused by some of your friend­ships. You wonder whether the other people even care, but when you try to seek clarity, you feel dis­missed. You never have confidence in the con­nection because each time you hang out, something happens that makes you question whether they are even your friends.

I have noticed that nice girls who want commu­nity sometimes confuse grace with excuses. We are called to give grace to all because of the grace Jesus gives us, but if we pray for wisdom, we will realize we aren’t called to trust everyone.

Friendship should be all of these:

Peaceful. First Corinthians 14:33 tells us: “God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.” When a “friend” continually causes you to be confused about whether they care for you, they are not a gift from God.

Empowering. True friends trust each other to make them better. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” When you fall, true friends pick you up and call you higher. They don’t push you down and lead you to sin, teary eyes, and hurt.

Kind. True friends share words of kindness, not gossip or hurtful words. They speak well of each other and others. Proverbs 16:24 says, “Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”

Don’t accept behavior from others that makes you doubt your worth, steals your peace, and hurts your heart. It’s better to be lonely than surrounded by people who make you feel belittled.

Walking away from friendships that consistently tear you down can feel weird when you’re the girl who tries to be nice all the time. But Jesus didn’t call us to be nice; He called us to be faithful, kind, loving, gentle, and self-controlled. Often, when we are trying to be nice, we excuse behav­iors that are hurtful—behaviors that aren’t doing the other person any good and are also leading us away from God’s goodness.

Are there any friendships in your life right now that are not peaceful, empowering, and kind? In what ways are you excusing others’ behavior even though it’s drawing you away from God?