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Mutual affection - Meaning of the term

The Greek word translated as “mutual (brotherly) affection” is φιλαδελφία (philadelphia), da φιλέω (phileō) – “to have affection for” and ἀδελφός (adelphos) – “brother” – literally “from the same womb”. Matthew Henry comments as follows: "We must add brotherly-kindness, a tender affection to all our fellow-Christians, who are children of the same Father, servants of the same Master, members of the same family, travelers to the same country, and heirs of the same inheritance, and therefore are to be loved with a pure heart fervently, with a love of complacency, as those who are peculiarly near and dear to us, in whom we take particular delight, Ps. 16:3".

Mutual affection - The example of Jesus

We are part of God’s family as children of the same Father (Ephesians 2:19; 5:1,2). Jesus is our elder brother and we must follow His example (Hebrews 2:11-17; Romans 8:29). The affection that Jesus had towards Lazarus was widely known (John 11:3,35,36).

Mutual affection - A point of arrival, not of departure

Brotherly affection is not only about human fondness or solidarity, but also a step in the process of sanctification. It must be practiced intensively (1 Peter 1:22), which means we should not settle for anything less than putting in the effort and zeal to exercise fraternal affection (Romans 12:9-13). It should not fade with the passage of time (Hebrews 13:1). The practice of brotherly love among believers is a powerful testimony to the world (1 Thessalonians 4:9-12).

Mutual affection - Sincere friendship

The practice of fraternal affection requires genuine friendship (Proverbs 17:17). The intensity of Christian brotherly love should be higher than that of siblings (Proverbs 18:24). We must choose to cultivate friendship with those who love the Lord (Psalm 119:63; 16:3). John addressed the believers as "friends" (3 John 15), perhaps recalling the words of Jesus during the Last Supper (John 15:13-15). True fraternal affection can be very costly (1 John 3:16,17).

Mutual affection - How to cultivate it

Quarreling over disputable matters among believers (Romans 14:1 NIV) should be avoided. We must accept each other just as Christ has accepted us into His family (Romans 15:7). We must learn to forgive (Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13), and for this reason it is necessary to face and overcome misunderstandings (Matthew 5:21-24). To help others, it's important to pay attention to how we treat others and judge ourselves first by the same criteria (Matthew 7:1-5; Galatians 6:1). Some deeper problems that cannot be overcome by the believers involved require the intervention of elders or the whole church, to ensure that the problems of two members of God's family do not cause problems for the entire family (Matthew 18:15-20).

Biblical examples of mutual affection

David and Jonathan - An affection stronger than family ties and death

The initiative in friendship came from Jonathan, who was older than David (1 Samuel 18:1-4). Jonathan defended David before his father (1 Samuel 19:1-7) and saved his life (1 Samuel 20:12-17). Jonathan encouraged David when he was hiding from Saul (1 Samuel 23:15-18).

David honored the memory of Jonathan (2 Samuel 1:26) and kept his commitments to Jonathan’s family (2 Samuel 9:1-8; 21:7).