Conquering a Critical Spirit: Put Off Tearing Down and Put on Building Up a 7 - Day Plan by Shannon McCoySample

The Power of Words

I stared at my phone, my thumb hovering over the "send" button. The message I had typed was sharp and biting, meant to put my group member in her place after she mischaracterized me in a group text. I had worked hard on this project, and her criticism stung. My first instinct was to defend myself and strike back. But as I sat there, a still, small voice whispered to me: “Is this really how God wants you to respond?” I paused and slowly deleted the harsh message. Instead, I prayed for the wisdom to choose words that would reflect Christ.

Proverbs 18:21 tells us, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” What a sobering thought! Our words can either breathe life or bring destruction. In moments of frustration, our first instinct is often to lash out or defend ourselves, but those words—spoken in haste—have the power to tear down rather than build up.

Like the moment I faced with my group member, we all have opportunities to choose how we respond when hurt or criticized. The Bible makes it clear that we are called to use our words for good. In Ephesians 4:29, Paul writes, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.” Our words should reflect the love of Christ, even when it's hard.

Consider the weight of your words. Have they been life-giving, or have they sown seeds of division and criticism? The reality is that we can use our words to either wound or heal, to either tear down or uplift. As Christian women, we are called to speak life, especially when our emotions tell us to do otherwise.

Here are a few practical ways we can build others up with our words:

1. Pause before responding – Take a moment to pray for wisdom.
2. Choose encouragement over criticism – Speak life, even when it is difficult.
3. Consider the other person’s perspective – Seek to understand before rushing to defend.
4. Speak the truth in love. Correct with gentleness and respect when necessary.

Reflect: Today, commit to being intentional with your words. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you as you navigate conversations, particularly when emotions run high. Choose words that reflect love, grace, and encouragement. Let’s remember that we have the power to build others up, even in difficult circumstances.

Pray: Lord, guard my lips and guide my words. Help me to speak with grace, even in difficult moments. May my speech always build others up and bring glory to Your name. In Jesus’ name, Amen.