Day 3: Healing from Unmet Hope

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. —Proverbs 13:12 ESV

Our heart is a sensitive and sacred place. It is the internal carrier of our dreams, plans and expectations, both big and small.

A common problem that we face when trying to rebuild our hope is that we are constantly replaying the events that didn’t work out how we anticipated. We often allow regret to paralyse us, rather than inform how we can possibly do better in the future.

God cares deeply about the longings of our hearts. From the smallest detail of our most minute hope, to the largest desire that is so big that we would hesitate to share it with others, He cares. But He doesn’t promise that every single hope that we have whilst on earth will be fulfilled in the way we envision.

I’m reminded of the unmet hope that I experienced when I transitioned from university into the working world. It was a hard season of filtering through constant job application rejections. I went to a job interview, full of hope that God would open the door that I thought was ideal. Weeks later, I found out that I didn’t get that job and feelings of defeat started to kick in. This happened a few more times until I finally got the position that God had for me, but each moment taught me the reality of emotional blows that unmet expectation brings – doubt, fear, anxiety, frustration, confusion and helplessness.

Proverbs 13:12 gives us wise insight into the effects of unmet expectations. Our hearts can feel sick. Something or someone that is sick needs attention, intentional care and healing. This happens because we have been clinging to an expectation of how God is supposed to show up according to our own understanding. Our hearts can also become sick and weighed down when we attach the burden of outcomes to ourselves and not the Lord. In God, our hearts can experience true healing for the emotional wounds of unmet expectations.

First, we must confess to God and accept within ourselves that our hope was not met. Next, we should acknowledge the emotional wounds that may have flowed from that disappointment – whether it’s a recurring feeling of rejection, embarrassment, abandonment or fear of trusting again. Then, we are in a position to ask God to help us stop looking back. He is more than able to provide the grace to move forward from the pain of unmet expectations and into the joys of trusting His great plan for our lives.

If your heart has been feeling the pain of unmet expectations, the extent of your wounds does not scare God. He invites you to process those wounds with Him so that you can heal and hope again.

Hope point: Take a moment to sit quietly in prayer and reflect on the unmet expectations or disappointments you’re carrying. Write them down, and then intentionally release each one to God. Acknowledge the pain, but also surrender your need for control over what you think should have happened. Ask God to heal your heart and replace those unmet expectations with a deeper trust in His perfect timing and plan.

Prayer: Lord, I thank you for your healing power. I confess that my heart has become sick and needs your touch. I have trusted certain outcomes rather than fully trusting in your goodness and sovereignty over my life. I pray that I will grow from the lessons of any unmet expectations and that you will heal every emotional wound within me by your presence.