Dec. 30: Two Become One; Marriage a Great Mystery

With This Ring II, Micah Parker. Contemporary Ketubah, 20 x 20 in.

“Love Divine, All Loves Excelling” from the album HM Queen: The Commemorative Album. Performed by Wallingford Parish Church Choir and the RoyalPhilharmonic Orchestra. Lyrics : Charles Wesley, Music: William Penfro Rowlands.

Poetry:

“On Mariage”
by Meghan O’Rourke

Stone by stone, body by body in the grass:
For this we trade our lone compass,

Become swans instead, adrift in glaze-
Light, kilned in the arms of each other

Into vessel-vassal new. Or shrew,
As the case may be. What would you do?

Listen to the footsteps in the thistles.
Put the kettle on for tea, and whisper it to me.

TWO BECOME ONE; MARRIAGE A GREAT MYSTERY

The pandemic took its toll on many marriages.

The stresses of lockdown, constantly shifting plans of how to return, and the rush to make up for lost time wore on us as individuals. By late 2021 my wife and I realized we had both undergone physiological changes. We wrestled with a variety of clinically diagnosed issues such as depression and anxiety. It was difficult to recognize ourselves, and by extension, each other and our relationship.

This experience connected me quickly to today’s artwork from Micah Parker, With This Ring II, a ketubah that depicts two rings intertwined, placed above a verse, Song of Songs 6:3. The imagery represents not only the individuality of each person, but a stronger unit created when two are joined.

The earthly institution of the marriage relationship is intended to mirror the eternal relationship of our union with God in Christ. Our earthly marriage will of course never be perfect, but it is in that imperfection that truths about the depth of our Father’s love are revealed. When I felt as though I did not recognize elements of our marriage anymore, I feared we were on the starting path to separation. Divorce is considered “contagious.” A study done by Pew Research in 2013 found 75% of participants were more likely to divorce if a friend first divorced. Socially it becomes a more viable option. In our own friend group, we found this to be very true.

I eventually realized my fears were based on bad experiences from past relationships, what was happening with others, and the unknown – not my knowledge of what I knew to be true about our relationship. Fear was leading me to be assumptive, less communicative, and reactionary in ways that were not loving to my wife.

But as we know from 1 John 4:18, “perfect love casts out fear.” Your love for someone else can only grow in relation to the extent to which you commit to that love. Love cannot increase without sacrifice and commitment. Take a second and read the last sentence again. A great thematic irony widely accepted in Christian belief is that one must “die to self” to find genuine life. Such is the case in marriage – I had to work to kill my own pride, ego, and fear for us to continue to move forward as one.

Prayer:
Father God, thank you for loving us so much that you made the ultimate sacrifice. During this season of advent, I pray that we are all reminded of the selfless nature of love, and that we become more intentional about responding to others in love, rather than from places of fear. Father, this is rarely easy to do in difficult moments – help us to have your eyes and your heart for your children as we interact with others.
Amen.

*Please keep in mind this devotional is not referring to relationships with abuse. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, the national hotline in the U.S. is 1-800-799-7293.

Zachary Bortot, M.F.A.
Associate Professor of Theatre
Theatre Arts Division Director
Collinsworth School of Performing Arts
California Baptist University
Riverside, California

For more information about the artwork, music, and poetry selected for this day, please visit our website via the link in our bio.