Parenting Your Child's Heart -- Not Just Their HeadSample

Heart Over Head

I grew up in a strict Christian home where rule-keeping was emphasized more than matters of the heart. Outward appearances often got more attention than personal godliness. Checking off all the right boxes gave you “5-star” Christian status.

But the more I’ve gotten closer to Jesus, the more I've realized that this mindset is a big part of what Jesus came to free us from. Jesus came to liberate us from the religion of works-based performance and call us into a life-changing, heart-shaping relationship with him.

Solomon touched on this when he asked his son in Proverbs 23:26, “My son, give me your heart.”

And he went on to say at the end of the verse, here’s how I’m going to make you want to give it to me… “and let your eyes observe my ways.”… Solomon was saying that in return for you giving me your heart, I’m going to give my heart and life as an example for you to follow.

Solomon didn’t force his son to give him his heart. This was a request, not a command. His goal with his son was not behavior modification through a long list of rules, but heart change through a lasting relationship.

This is also why Solomon taught that his son’s heart was the control center of his life. In Proverbs 4:23, he told his son, Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

In other words, protect your heart because it’s a well from which all the other issues of life spring forth.

The point: the heart determines the behavior. What a person says and does is a reflection of his or her heart because the heart only reproduces what’s already there.

This is a golden key of understudying for us as parents—for the rest of his or her lifetime, your child’s life will ultimately be controlled by your child’s heart.

What’s in your child’s heart determines what’s in your child’s future.

Once we realize that all of our children’s behavioral problems are first heart problems, then we can understand more fully that we must ultimately reach their hearts, not just address their behavior.

Prayer: Lord, protect my heart from the temptation to focus on behavior alone, and help me to see investments into my child’s heart as investments into my child’s future.

Tomorrow, we’ll share two practical ways to get your kids to give you their heart!