The Guarded Heart vs Guarding Our HeartsSample

HEART VOWS & HEART DEFENCES.

When my youngest son was around 9 years old, he was betrayed by a close friend who killed him on Minecraft, a popular video game. I found him lying on the bed sobbing his eyes out, declaring, "I will never trust a friend ever again." The counsellor in me jumped into action, trying to help him unpack the emotions so he would dismantle the heart vow. He then looks at me with tear-stained cheeks and says, "Mom, you are a mental health counsellor, not a Minecraft counsellor." As funny as it was, I reminded him that I understand the experience of betrayal even though I don't know much about Minecraft. I also understand human nature and the danger of making heart vows.

Heart vows will lead to heart defences.

Never trusting again means you will never allow anyone in. 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 tells us to demolish the strongholds AND the arguments. The arguments are the mental computations behind our behaviour. In other words, the vow behind the defence. 1 Corinthians 13:11 reminds us to put away the thinking and reasonings of our childhood ways. To put the ways of childhood behind us, however, there can be parts of us still stuck in the vows and defences we made in childhood. Parts of us are still stuck in child-like ways of thinking and behaving. These are what I am calling our "Guarded Parts."

Guarded parts may even compensate in one area of life to distract others from the parts of us still stuck because of inadequacy. For example, to lean on cognitive processing to avoid sitting with emotional conflict.

Guarded parts may be living, calculated to protect parts of us that have been hurt from being hurt again. For example, respond to others in need but hide showing your needs.

Guarded parts may be living concealed to avoid revealing parts of us that we are ashamed of. For example, never allow others into a person's wrestle one has, which keeps those you love at arm's length.

A CONTAMINATED HEART...

• Will live with calculated authenticity.
• Will produces careless ears.
• Will distort the truth into lies.
• Will live in enemy mode, assuming the worst of others.
• Will reject before getting rejected.
• Will harden over time with callouses.

Therefore, we must be alert to what takes root and enters our hearts because this will determine how we live. Remember that the mind can gather any evidence to back up the fear narrative we already believe. Living in a broken world means you can find the evidence to back up your fears.

For the remainder of this reading plan, we will unpack five heart spaces that can cause guardedness: The broken heart, the bickering heart, the bruised heart, the betrayed heart, and the boundaryless burdened heart. My encouragement is to work through each, reflecting on how you have processed these spaces and then invite the wisdom of Jesus in to guard against the fruit of these experiences taking root.

Prayer:

Jesus, I pray that you point out vows and defences in me that I have been living behind. Reveal to me my hiding spaces. My heart desires to live free from fears and to love wholeheartedly. Amen.