Dwell on These Things: Transform Your Heart and Mind by Memorizing God’s WordSample

Gentleness: The New “Crushing It”?

Philippians 4 is filled with commands. Verse 5 is one of them.

Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.

I know that may seem obvious, but it’s important to note because that means gentleness is not an option. It’s mandatory—a rule for Christ followers on par with honoring our parents, loving our neighbors, and seeking justice for the oppressed. There’s no room for excuses like “I’m sorry, that’s just not my personality. I can’t be gentle.” Yet, I wonder if you look at gentleness the way I often do—a good quality, but optional (or at least not that important).

Why do you think we’re so quick to devalue this command?

I think one reason, at least in part, is because gentleness is not seen as a virtue in our culture. Assertiveness is. Looking out for number one is. Crushing it like a boss lady is. But being gentle? That’s for grandmas and doormats. We don’t want anybody walking over us. Gentleness is for pushovers. How are we ever going to get ahead if we’re gentle? Let’s be real here.

But what if our culture is wrong about gentleness?

What if there’s more to gentleness than meets the eye? What if there’s a way to be strong and gentle at the same time? What if the inherent generosity and grace of gentleness are subversively winsome? What if being gentle is actually the best way to live? What if being gentle is crushing it? Since this is a command in Scripture, instituted for our thriving by the God who designed us, I have to believe that treating others with gentleness is all those things and more. Let’s take a look.

The focus of Philippians 4:5 is letting our gentleness be known. But what is biblical gentleness, and what does it look like to let it be known to all?

From a quick study, we find that gentleness is the given word used in the NIV translation. But other translations use words like graciousness, humility, reasonableness, or forbearance. However you slice it, the idea is the same. Gentleness is considering others more highly than ourselves, not demanding our own rights but putting up with affronts, bearing patiently with the shortcomings of others, and treating others with grace. Whew! We’re not just talking about your grandma’s gentle hug here. We are talking about truly radical care for others.

Paul doesn’t use the word gentle in any other verses in this letter. So, is this a new command at the end of his letter? No. Just because the specific word gentle only occurs in 4:5, doesn’t mean the theme of treating others with gentleness or graciousness isn’t present elsewhere. As we consider the full definition of gentleness, this theme is evident throughout the letter. Philippians 2:14-16 is just one example. It suggests that those with gentle behavior shine among others “like stars in the sky.”

When we look to the interests of others above our own, when we aren’t seeking our own way or ambitions but those of others, it’s so very winsome. Why? Because deep down, we all want to be treated like this. When someone gives up their prerogative or rights in order to serve us, it’s shocking and attractive. Who is the best example of this quality? Jesus. It’s how He’s treated us. It’s how we are to treat others.

Read Philippians 4:5 and meditate on this reality: When we are gentle, we reflect Jesus. We’re like lights in our dark world, pointing people to Him. How can you reflect Jesus by pursuing gentleness today?