Conflict

My freshman year of college was so full of drama that seemed juvenile by my sophomore year. I’m sure by now I’ve forgotten some of the major conflicts I navigated during that time. But I remember weird tension existing between me and other people because of disagreements over a wide array of topics like the layout of a dorm room, intramural ultimate frisbee, noise levels after a certain hour, who should be allowed into certain friend groups, and whether my roommate or I should get to date a girl named Veronica. We figured that last one out because I’m now married to Veronica and we have a child together.

I have always hated conflict and I try to avoid it when possible. Throughout my freshman year, to avoid discomfort, I ignored any conflict already brewing. I chose not to address matters until they became so problematic that they required resolution. That was not a healthy way of handling conflict. I’m continuing to learn that embracing the ways of God in this new kingdom will radically transform how we handle conflict and anger.

Here in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus clarifies God’s standards for right relationships with other people. It’s not only that God doesn’t want us to murder one another. He doesn’t even want anger to infect our words and actions toward one another. Jesus also connects how we interact with other believers to how we interact with God. Our ability to genuinely worship God is impaired when we avoid relational reconciliation with God’s people. Truly religious practices are intended to propel us toward healthy interaction with God and others. Those habits lose significance if we avoid God’s original intention for them.

Remember, Jesus is most likely responding to how the religious leaders of his day have minimized and altered the commands of God in the Old Testament. Jesus’ words may feel radical and intimidating – and they are – but they show us God’s beautiful vision for a world where human beings live in the right relationship with Him and one another.

Discussion Questions:

• Icebreaker: What was the subject of the most petty fight or conflict you can recall from your own experience?
• How do Jesus’ standards of godly living exceed the expectations of the original listeners? How do they exceed your expectations?
• How do you typically respond when you experience the emotion of anger?
• How does Ephesians 4:26 inform your understanding of a healthy, biblical response to anger?
• Why do you think anger, and not merely murder, is out of place in God’s kingdom? How does James 1:19-20 help you formulate an answer to that question?
• Is there a believer in your life who you’ve hurt or wronged without seeking their forgiveness? What does Jesus call you to do in such a situation?