You Are Not Behind: How to Start Building a Life You Love TodaySample

Day 7: Cultivate Contentment

When we are so focused on what we don’t have and can’t change, we are likely to become discontent. You know the feeling of discontentment—the search for something, anything to comfort you, but nothing fully does. The ache for steadiness or security. The desire for everything to be in its proper place. The longing for the assurance that you are, and will be, okay.

The idea of contentment gets thrown around a lot in Christian circles. If I’m honest, sometimes I get squirmy with the word contentment. Maybe it’s because I’m single at the time of this writing, and well-meaning people like to tell me, “You’ll meet someone once you’re truly content.” Or maybe it’s because, single or not, this contentment thing has always felt like an impossible game to win.

Maybe you’ve been in a similar situation. You’ve tried to make yourself not want something you deeply desire because you think not wanting it will lead to contentment with what you currently have. But I think we’ve missed something important: Desire and contentment are not mutually exclusive.

Do you have space in your imagination for something new to happen to you, not because you can make it happen, but because God can do it? You may need to begin with walking through grief in order to experience healing:

• Honestly acknowledge the depth of your wounds
• Grieve the wounds
• Risk imagining a newness that only God could create

Revelation 21:4 says, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” We can remain hopeful—not because we will get everything we want but because the pain we experience in the meantime will not last forever. Grief’s end is coming.

Longing for something doesn’t mean never finding rest for your soul. Contentment is an inward trust that God is both good and in control of your life, even when you wish your outward circumstances were different. Contentment means living in God’s fullness, which means contentment is possible because it’s independent of our circumstances.

In Philippians 4:12-13, Paul tells us he learned the secret of contentment, and it’s a little unexpected: “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Paul didn’t fake his contentment. Nor did he find it because his circumstances were perfect. The contentment he found only came from Christ.

It is possible to be content in Christ and still desire for something to be different. Pull out a journal or open a note on your phone and just let the words out. Don’t try to filter or polish them. Let it all out. Don’t put pressure on yourself to fix what you feel; just take a step toward healing your heart needs.