Five Stones: The Essentials of Manning-UpSample

Stone 3 – Guard: Align Yourself with the Right People.

“Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.”
Proverbs 13:20. NLT

“David left Gath and escaped to the cave of Adullam. Soon his brothers and all his other relatives joined him there. Then others began coming—men who were in trouble or in debt or who were just discontented—until David was the captain of about 400 men.”
1 Samuel 22:1-2. NLT

It’s been said that we become the average of the five people we spend the most time with. While this may be profoundly true for our productivity as well as our positivity, even more significant might be that who we align ourselves with will holistically determine what we achieve.

For instance, an old school friend who you keep in touch with, but rarely see, might be more of an anchor of support in your life than some of the people from work. While you spend much of your daily time with people at work, and yes, they might influence you, your friend who sticks closer than a brother will likely remain an even bigger influencer in your life – if you actively pursue and allow it.

If you haven’t noticed it through this Bible study yet, being intentional is a major part of manning-up in various parts of life. It’s not just about dealing with the things that come our way, but it’s also about being deliberate in our preparation to handle it. We need to be deliberate in who we want in our corner, and whose corner we will stand in, when soul crushing and heart aching fights come our way.

David was deliberate with his alignment to Jonathan. As a result, we see him being committed to this pact for the long haul. Inevitably, others started following David, aligning themselves with him, and finding their own band of brothers around him.

If we don’t intentionally align ourselves with the right guys, we won’t only be alone when the battles of life come, but even worse… When we might think we can count on someone, they won’t be there. Don’t assume someone’s got your back simply because they work with you, socialize with you, watch sports with you, or even go to the same church as you. David was in Saul’s inner circle and had to dodge spears.

When we become intentional about our friendships with other guys, we end up having a band of brothers. But this intention is not only about what we can gain. It is also about what we can give. If we only gather men around us who we can get something from, the well will eventually run dry and run out. If we only gather men around us who like to keep conversations casual and have nothing to do with keeping one another accountable, we will find no depth in these alliances when we go through deep waters. Bands of brothers mutually make each other better men.

We need to be equally yoked together with our closest friends and allies. Finding a brother for life must be done through prayer and persistence. But when we are a brother to another, we’ll often see others man-up alongside us from unlikely places.

Meditations on Manning-up:

- What can you learn from David’s alliances found in today’s reading?

- How can you determine who you should align yourself with or not?

- How will you intentionally guard over your friendships and alliances?

- Where can you find these meaningful alliances in your life?

- What do you need to pray for today?