I Still Love the ChurchSample

THE "AND" DILEMMA

It was F. Scott Fitzgerald who famously wrote: “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless yet be determined to make them otherwise.”

Psychology calls this "Cognitive Dissonance," the discomfort one feels when behaviour does not align with values. It's the ability to hold contradictory beliefs at the same time. I still love the church, AND there are people in the church who have caused great hurt and harm. (It is interesting to note that a toddler's brain is too underdeveloped to understand that a parent can love them unconditionally and be disappointed in them simultaneously. This is often why a child can panic when in trouble, as they believe their parent has stopped loving them. This is why teaching your child through reassurance of your love is crucial whilst simultaneously dealing with their behaviour.)

We live in a world filled with cognitive dissonance, tensions that one must learn to manage. In Romans 7:15-17, Paul speaks about the tension of sin versus Spirit. The things he wants to do, he doesn't do, and the things he doesn't want to do, he does. The tension lies in the space between one's heart and our fallen nature that is still becoming (maturing) like Christ. I am a child of God (position) AND becoming more like Christ (progression.) I am justified because of Jesus AND in the process of being sanctified through the work of the Holy Spirit. Hebrews 10:14

James 3:8-9 is another great example of cognitive dissonance, "But no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, AND sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God."

The key is processing the tension of these two spaces while still seeking God's wisdom for redemption. This is the AND space. I love the church, AND I am processing the hurt of a leader. I love God, AND I am imperfect and often fail. I desire to be the best mom I can AND often fail miserably. Freedom is found when we don't allow our wretchedness to define us. Our wretched fallenness is not an identity but a need for a Savior. Healing is found when we hold this space with integrity and vulnerability and invite Jesus in to do what He can do.

My prayer for everyone wrestling in the valley of hurt caused by a local church or a person in that church, leader or otherwise, is to keep wrestling with Jesus at the centre of everything you do. Wrestling is intimate, and when you do it with wisdom, it will produce a wealth of healing as you walk through to the other side of the journey.

I still love the church despite its being filled with fallen, fickle, fallible, fragile people. I love it because of that fact. This is the gospel's good news message. I pray that more and more church leaders will shift to higher levels of accountability and transparency while stepping off the platforms they have elevated themselves onto. I pray for every congregant who has elevated their pastor onto a platform of perfection in their mind to undo this dangerous mindset. I encourage anyone in the valley of pain to find safe spaces to work through their emotions in a healthy, life-giving way. Remember, rejecting God based on the actions of a man is as unwise as viewing man as if they are God.

PRAY

Jesus, thank you for loving us all so much that you came to give your life for everyone of us so that all could find life and live life to the full. I pray for your resurrection power to lift my hurt out of the valley of pain into a place of new life and purpose. Amen.

Madz Deyzel is a published author, international speaker and trainer. She has a heart for bringing theology and psychology together as we better understand why we think, feel and behave the way we do, pointing people back to a right relationship with Jesus. She has also written many online courses designed to equip and empower you to grow in emotional and spiritual well-being. To learn more about her resources, check out her website, www.edify-buildingthesoul.com.