Relationships the Right Way: The "One Anothers" of ScriptureSample
Don’t Judge One Another
Twenty years ago it wasn’t uncommon to hear unchurched people say, “Don’t judge me,” and today everybody’s saying it. Recently at family dinner, we were laughing and having fun when one of our children who had done something to elicit laughter from the rest of us stopped laughing with us long enough to say, “Don’t judge me.”
Sometimes we say it in a humorous way, reminding others that they do silly things, too, and other times we say it as a warning that somebody better not call us on something wrong we’ve done because we’re in no mood to deal with correction or unwilling to change our wrong behavior. These three words, “Don’t judge me,” have become a kind of “Get Out of Jail Free” card.
In the midst of that, the Bible has some specific instructions on this topic.
In Matthew 7, Jesus did not mean that we should not have judges, courts, and rule of law in society, and He didn’t mean that we should ignore people’s faults or refuse to make determinations about their behavior (1 Corinthians 5:12-13 and Matthew 7:15-16). Jesus’ words here are not about cultural ethics or discerning what is in a person’s heart. Those are cases in which the Bible teaches us that we must judge and discern wisely.
Instead, Jesus is talking about taking a harsh, critical, negative spirit toward others. That spirit is contagious and before long others begin to see us through the same judgmental lenses. So, while we must evaluate others, we must do it with extreme caution, remembering that the Lord is the final judge (1 Corinthians 4:4-5). There is coming a day when I will stand before God and be judged not just for my actions, but for the attitudes of my heart. While I cannot see the motives of others, none of my attitudes are hidden from the Lord.
So, when I see faults in others, they should cause me to examine my own life, and when I am sure that my motives are pure, then I can offer to help them with that character flaw or repeated mistake that keeps showing its face. Until I examine myself, I am unable to help them address their shortcomings.
Prayer: Father, motivate me to deal with my own imperfections so that I may gracefully help others with theirs when the time comes.
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Do you know that there's not just one right way to make chocolate chip cookies? In the same way, there is not only 1 right way to live in relationships with others. BUT there are some ingredients that help to make our relationships sweet and satisfying. Let’s explore those together!
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