The Man MinuteSample

WHAT I HATE MOST

During this past turkey season, I spent some time hunting with a man who, over the years, has become a source of unmatched wisdom to me. Steve Chapman is a nationally known singer/songwriter with equal acclaim as an author. Steve squeezed the trigger on a strutter, and we watched yet another bird fall victim to his old Mossberg 835. On the way home, Steve pulled a package out of his truck. It was a CD entitled “Revival,” and Steve wasn’t on the cover this time. It was his son, Nathan Chapman. Nathan is a legendary music producer in Nashville. No kidding.

I could rattle off the celebrities and number-one records Nate’s produced, but he wouldn’t like that. . .so I won’t do it. Humility is a cherished component of the Chapman tribe; thus, I’ll yield. There was, however, one track which I simply couldn’t stop playing. When I listened to it the first time, I cried. Out of nowhere, I found tears in my eyes. I cried because it made me think of a question a man recently asked me: “What do you see that breaks your heart the most?” In the track “I Broke the World,” the voice from Nathan’s pen states, “Well, what do I tell her, and you know she will ask me, ‘Why don’t we live in the same house as daddy?’ And you know how it hurts when she starts to cry because you know there’s no answer to the question, ‘Why?’ I didn’t break your heart; I broke the world.” When my friend asked me, “What gets to you the most?” I said without hesitation, “Divorce.” His look was one of astonishment. I know the look. I know it well. When most people ask this question, they think I’m going to say drug addiction or rape, or the death of a child. They expect my response to speak to something truly tragic, ugly, and lingering. What most people don’t know is that I can think of nothing I’ve seen that is more tragic, ugly, and lingering than divorce. This is hard for me to talk about with you, my brothers because I know many of you have lived the ugly, lingering tragedy. There are those of you that divorce chose you; you didn’t choose it. I know you are hurt over it, which is why we must talk about it because divorce is awful. When God says in Malachi 2:16, “I hate divorce. . . ,” He means it. Our heavenly Father knows that divorce rips apart lives. It impacts children, who become adults, who then have to pay to see therapists because they can’t pinpoint why they are so angry. . .until the therapist helps them trace it back to the devastation of watching their mom and dad rip up the root system of their home. Some of you are likely reading this right now who have recently talked to a lawyer about your options. The pain in your heart is screaming just as loud as your last argument. It’s the same broken record that won’t stop playing, fight after fight. The silence in your marriage is deafening, and no matter how many drinks you have, you know it simply isn’t going to get any better. . .so you’re looking at pulling up roots. Brother, this is what I know: there is no marriage so broken that God cannot make it beautiful again. Redemption is His specialty. Redemption is not without payment, however. The cost is that you must be willing to be redeemed.