Overcoming the Father Wound: The Path to VictorySample

DAY 3: Emotional Trauma/Psychological Abuse

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord – Ephesians 6:4 NIV

A child does not have to be “abused” in the classic definition to be traumatized. My Dad was often a yeller when he got angry (not a hitter). This occurred as Mom and Dad would argue, even before I came along. Science has discovered that pre-born babies are sensitive to sounds. The seeds of trauma were sown in me “in utero”, which took a heavy toll. More on that later.

Like second-hand smoke, witnessing traumatic events – “indirect trauma” - can also have a profound impact on children, similar to that of direct abuse.

The National Library of Medicine reports,

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a condition that occurs following exposure to a traumatic experience… PTSD patients exhibit a broad range of symptoms including hyperarousal, avoidance, intrusive memories, anxiety, depression and poor cognition which can impair social and occupational function. Most people associate PTSD with military combat but the fact is that much of the PTSD in the United States originates not from combat exposures but from far more common events such as criminal victimization, domestic violence, accidents, and physical, sexual, or emotional abuse…More importantly, PTSD can be triggered not only in people who personally experience these traumatic events, but also in those who witness it. For example, a child who repeatedly witnesses physical and emotional abuse of his/her mother or sibling, can develop PTSD. Witnessing a traumatic event but not directly experiencing it can be psychologically quite damaging. In North America alone, ~30% of individuals who witness a traumatic event develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). *

Does the average person understand the connection between “indirect trauma” – related to what he has overheard and/or witnessed as a child, and the development of negative (and sinful) behavior patterns, later on in life? Probably not.

Similarly, my Dad could not have known at the time that raising his voice would have such profound effects on his children. Those sounds implanted fear and a lack of inner safety (something all children need). This led in turn to dysfunction and sexual addiction. Catastrophic consequences followed. God used his arm of loving discipline to move me to to seek help from counselors. A child does not have to be “abused” in the classic definition to experience trauma.

Prayer:

“Father, cleanse me today from all things that children are not supposed to be exposed to. Heal my heart and restore my innocence by your Grace. Amen”.

* Source: PubMedCentral, see Article No. PMC4318493