Free to Be Me: Overcome the Comparison Trap and Discover Who God Made You to BeSample

I remember the first time I left the United States, where I was born, and traveled to another country.

While walking through a market on the way to a restaurant, I saw items for sale with expensive brand labels, but the prices were meager. As I talked to my new friends who lived in this country, I discovered that that brand did not make the items for sale. They were not genuine; they were knock-offs. As a result, they would only last for a short time or work as well as authentic items.

The same principle applies to the wrong sources of affirmation in our lives. When we turn to people for what only God can give, we aren’t satisfied. When we look to people who only know us online for what the people closest to us are not sharing, we end up with unhealthy relationships.

As someone who battled insecurity from my late teens into my thirties, I had to discover what the Bible said about who I am in God's eyes if I had any hope of finding a healthier sense of self. I read Romans 7:14-25 and felt like Paul was in my head. His words perfectly described my attempts to succeed and my consistent failures. Nevertheless, I was blown away by what I read in Romans 8 as he explained how he became victorious in those battles by claiming and developing his God-given identity.

Later, I read through Ephesians 1 and circled every reference to "in Christ." Those statements overwhelmed me with a new picture of myself. I read through Paul's summary of the Gospel in Ephesians 2 and was in awe when I read, "For you are God's masterpiece." Then, I read Psalm 139 about how well God knows me, and I felt seen and loved in a whole new way.

Once you've started fasting from unhealthy sources of affirmation (like social media and stats) and evaluating where you're looking for fulfillment, recognize that you're turning down the noise long enough for you actually to hear from God.

Thirdly, as part of this plan, please start tuning in to healthy sources of soul renewal.

I have found that God rarely shouts over our lives' noise and frantic pace. Like He did in His encounter with Elijah on Mt. Horeb, recorded in 1 Kings 19, God does not speak through winds, earthquakes, or fires. God's voice is found in the whisper. If life is always loud, fast, and chaotic, it can be easy to miss God's whisper.

So, if what God says about you is the truest thing about you, how do you tune in so you can hear what God is saying? Start by reading what the Bible records regarding your identity in Christ. I've already mentioned Psalm 139, Romans 8, and Ephesians 1-2. Those would be great places to start.

Once you've found Bible verses that describe what God says about you, list them and put them in a place you can find quickly. You could put that list in your wallet, add it to a note on your phone, or paste it into a journal you use daily.

Additionally, you can store these reminders in a place that cannot be lost—your mind! Memorize the passages of Scripture that communicate your identity in Christ. For instance, I memorized Romans 8:1 because I constantly condemned myself when I failed or fell short of my insanely high expectations. There, Paul wrote, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

One of my friends recorded himself reading passages like this so he could listen to them as a voice memo on his phone when he felt insecure or under attack and condemnation.

You can make real progress as you fill your mind with the truth of what God says about you. Tomorrow, I will share what one of my favorite childhood movies taught me about my identity in Christ long before using social media was even an option.